Showing results by author "C. D. Payne" in All Categories

As his family splinters, worlds collide, and the police block all routes out of town, Nick Twisp must cope with economic deprivation, homelessness, the gulag of the public schools, a competitive Type-A father, murderous canines (in triplicate), and an inconvenient hair trigger on his erectile response, all while vying ardently for the affections of the beauteous Sheeni Saunders, teenage goddess and ultimate intellectual goad. He's smart, he's horny, he's resourceful, and he's on the loose.

Youth in Revolt brings us the journals of Nick Twisp, California's most precocious diarist, whose ongoing struggles to make sense out of high school, deal with his divorced parents, and lose his virginity result in his transformation from an unassuming 14-year-old to a modern youth in open revolt. As his family splinters, worlds collide, and the police block all routes out of town, Nick must cope with economic deprivation, homelessness, and the gulag of the public schools.

Wildfires engulfing cities in acrid brown smoke. Riots and shootings. And a deadly virus upending life in countless ways. In a world suddenly gone mad, the Twisp family struggles to carry on. Babies arrive, work evaporates, college goes online, and ex-girlfriends turn very cold (and rather warm). Can love happen while masked and six feet apart? Can a marriage survive endless hours of “Maggot Brain?” Join the Twisps for another cataclysmic yet laughter-filled summer in L.A., where nothing goes as planned and nerves are jolted daily. This riotous Book 12 can be enjoyed as part of the ...

Meet these hard-drinking laboratory refugees, who as the infamous "Killer Pigeons" create havoc in San Francisco. They dance into bars, they stick up liquor stores, they spy on socialites, dodge murder raps, and pull a miracle our of their hats. Will they find their way back home to Berkeley? Will they survive the next 15 minutes without a cigarette? Call them "America's Most Wanted," but don't call them pigeons. These swashbuckling outlaws think they're human! Read this hilarious new novel from the author of Youth in Revolt. “Hilarious fable” “The . . . seamless blend of high comedy ...

Plain, overweight and friendless, 16-year-old Brenda Blatt is exiled by her parents to a bleak school for troubled girls. Despised by her new roommates and scorned by the headmistress, Brenda suddenly finds her life turning around when she is befriended by the prettiest girl in the school. She experiments with dating and discovers she has a first-class singing voice. Brenda is becoming an admired leader at the school, when an apparent double betrayal sends her reeling. Amid the hilarity, this rollicking novel explores the nature and power of friendship.

Return with us now to those zany days of yesterday (the 1950s): when phones had dials, computers were moved with forklifts, kids played outdoors, only birds tweeted, and NOBODY had internet service. C.D. Payne’s seven deranged tales explore such untimely and important topics as: Motorscooter Lust. Gas wars. Monumental knavery. Over-sexed surveyors. Future Fire Bugs of America. Sweethearts with tricks up their sleeves. Revenge Cleveland-style, and more. Seventy years on from that midcentury decade this laugh-filled party is just starting!

After seven King Georges a beautiful new Queen ascends the throne in America . . . Welcome to the Kingdom of America, where a crisis in succession imperils the 220-year reign of the Washington royal family. Into the breech steps a lovely descendant of King George Washington I. She may become America’s first Queen—if she can overcome the forces conspiring against her and prevent a war with her realm’s fiercest adversary: the Kingdom of Canada. Discover contemporary royal America, where athletes play polo on pogo sticks, tourists queue up to tour opulent palaces, shoppers spend millions...

He didn't intend to burn half of Berkeley to the ground or create a media frenzy by faking his best friend's suicide or enroll in high school dressed as an elderly Italian woman. However, he did. Nick Twisp started out an honor student and ended up a fugitive. His ongoing struggles to make sense out of high school, deal with his divorced parents, and lose his virginity have resulted in his transformation from an unassuming, precocious 14-year-old to a modern youth in open revolt.

In Youth in Bondage, the second volume of Nick's journals, we find him stuck in Sheeni's hometown of Ukiah, living like an indentured servant with his penny-pinching father while his paramour and her boyfriend are away at school in Santa Cruz. But trouble finds Nick again when the F.B.I. picks up his trail and he must rely on the cahones of his tough alter ego, Francois Dillinger.

Laughs and tears abound in this 13th installment of the Twisp family saga. Geniuses bloom, marriages totter, narcissism runs rampant, and Christmas arrives early. Join the Twisps for another riotous summer in Los Angeles, where nothing goes as planned and the cops arrive regularly with sirens blaring. This latest Twispian adventure can be enjoyed as part of the acclaimed “Youth in Revolt” series or read on its own. As always, familiarity with the previous novels is not required.

Nick Twisp is “sort of” famous and is–by his own accounts–the greatest in his profession for the past 500 years. So why are his neighbors wondering who’s that “grouchy white man” in apartment 22B? Our hero faces career setbacks, life challenges, and much more in this latest installment of the acclaimed Twisp family saga. Even more Twisps are on hand for romantic adventures, Twispian intrigue, and their clan’s always-frenetic approach to love and sex. Join the fun as marriages crumble, homicides are plotted, and dark secrets revealed as the laughs and surprises come fast and ...

It’s the summer of 1949. The Cold War is heating up, TV is catching on, workers are striking, and campers are roughing it. In Ohio recent high-school grad Wilder S. Flint hits the road in pursuit of a mystery salesman who promises miracles by the dozen. Join the fun as Wilder takes some hilarious detours and discovers that life rarely goes as planned. It’s the latest comic adventure from the author of the acclaimed Nick Twisp Youth in Revolt series. (Don’t miss the movie from Weinstein Films.) Also includes a bonus short story about the ultimate recycling project.

Nearly a year has passed since we last checked in with the tumultuous, ever-burgeoning Twisp clan. Join them again as they face the bumps and pitfalls of life in contemporary Los Angeles. Romance blooms, enemies plot revenge, elephants rampage, and blazes ignite as the Twisps prove again that lifeBand loveBcan be a hilarious challenge. Yes, expect even more dark Twispian secrets to be revealed. This witty and rollicking Book 9 can be enjoyed as part of the acclaimed series or read on its own. As always, familiarity with the previous novels is not required.

It’s 1951. Reno is the little city in Nevada where people go to get divorced. Meet handsome Army vet Philip Melford, who makes a good living keeping wealthy but lonely divorce-seekers entertained. Then he falls for lovely college instructor Evelyn Demars, who wants to divorce him from his work and make him rethink his life. Or should he make a play for movie star Rita Hayworth in town for six weeks for the usual reason? Or that other visiting star Ida Lupino? While working all this out, our hero must dodge irate husbands out for his blood. It’s a wild and dangerous ride from the master ...

Handsome Yale grad Colm Moran wants to be a film producer. But his father has another idea: go dip his toe into the business world at a small company in rural California that makes bathing suits for women with problem figures. So Colm heads west and hilarity ensues. Return to 1957 when “nice girls” mostly didn’t, and an “itsy bitsy” bikini could start a riot. Here’s the perfect romantic and funny read for any beach!

One more year has passed since we last checked in with the tumultuous, ever-burgeoning Twisp clan. Join them again as they face the bumps and pitfalls of life in contemporary Los Angeles. Romance blooms inappropriately, gifts arrive unexpectedly, and babies happen regularly. Plots twist explosively as the Twisps prove again that life–and love–can be a hilarious challenge. This witty and rollicking Book 10 can be enjoyed as part of the acclaimed series or read on its own. As always, familiarity with the previous novels is not required.

So what exactly happened to Nick and Sheeni after that fateful last day in Paris? A new generation of Twisps and Saunders explore these mysteries and more in this rollicking next chapter (Book 6) of the Nick Twisp saga. Like Nick, young Noel Wescott strives for love and liberty, but soon finds his life veering off into improbable and hilarious tangents. Also available now: Book 7 in the Nick Twisp series: "Son of Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Scott Twisp." More Twispian mayhem from Nick's own teenage son.

This long-awaited continuation (Book 5) of the Nick Twisp saga finds Nick and Sheeni on the lam and living in France. Try as he might to blend in and lie low, Nick soon finds himself the elusive target of a storm of European media attention. Qui, America’s most dangerous teenager may be too outrageous for the French. Friends of Nick will also want to read Revoltingly Young, Book 6 in the Twispian series, which is also available. And coming soon! Book 7: Son of Youth in Revolt: The Journals of Scott Twisp.

Danny Nixon is a randy poet; His life kinda sucks big time. Few would choose to undergo it, Yet from the slime he plucks a rhyme. Smoking and drinking fill his hours. Also pursuing those ladies coy. His charm seldom overpowers. They rarely toy with Danny boy. Then events get awfully dire, But Danny swears he’s not a crook. Will he perish in the mire? Have a look at this fun book.

Suburban Cleveland housewife Helen Spall has three difficult kids and a tax-attorney husband who’s inclined to be brutally frank about her shortcomings. Then she inherits a rundown house in a blue-collar town on the shores of Lake Erie, and her life begins to blossom. She investigates a once-popular, now forgotten novelist and her mysterious connections to Helen’s family. With her marriage dissolving and a possible new love in her life, Helen encounters surprise after surprise as she uncovers the many secrets that lay buried in those seductive novels.