Nothing makes a new school suck worse than discovering the guy you're in love with is your prophesied nemesis.
Ari is the most powerful flame-throwing sorceress ever, and her people's last hope in an ancient war. But she's also a 17-year-old girl, and in her free, not-hunting-nemesis times, she jumps from school to school, trying to figure out regular people her own age and pretending she'll get the chance to graduate.
Shane lives a double life. He goes to school and masters the art of popularity, hiding the fact that he has a fate with a slim chance of his survival. He's destined to end a 300-year-old war by killing or being killed. He knows he's hunted by a powerful enemy who's not afraid to die. Only problem? He has no idea who that enemy is.
When Ari shows up at Shane's school, angry and sullen and determined to keep him at arm's reach, neither of them realize they are supposed to be killing each other, not falling in love. Until Ari does realize it, and she almost dies - by Shane's hand.
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Ok story, poor production values
- Pen Name
nice story - bad editing on the audio
I would not rush events and flip the personalities so much.
Taken my time, stayed truer to the character and the way they would react. The repeated line "Shaken like a ragdoll" was troubling in it's delivery and then in contrast to reactions/emotions of the character? It just didn't flow as well as it could have.
Nice, Expressive, Understandable
The build up was interesting but towards the end I did not really enjoy it. It felt forced and some of the 'relationships' felt convenient.
Please perform better editing and proof-listening. The narrator had skipping and repeats. I could even hear a part where she sighed because she messed up and continues. that should have been edited out.
- April Pevear