Renowned psychologist and best-selling author of The Dance of Anger sheds new light on the two most important words in the English language - I'm sorry - and offers a unique perspective on the challenge of healing broken connections and restoring trust.
Dr. Harriet Lerner has been studying apologies - and why some people won't give them - for more than two decades. Now she offers compelling stories and solid theory that bring home how much the simple apology matters and what is required for healing when the hurt we've inflicted (or received) is far from simple. Listeners will learn how to craft a deeply meaningful "I'm sorry" and avoid apologies that only deepen the original injury.
Why Won't You Apologize? also addresses the compelling needs of the injured party - the one who has been hurt by someone who won't apologize, tell the truth, or feel remorse. Lerner explains what drives both the non-apologizer and the over-apologizer, as well as why the people who do the worst things are the least able to own up. She helps the injured person resist pressure to forgive too easily and challenges the popular notion that forgiveness is the only path to peace of mind. With her trademark humor and wit, Lerner offers a joyful and sanity-saving guide to setting things right.
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Everyone needs to read this!
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor and I am having all of my clients read this book. It is so helpful in giving vocabulary to the process of giving and receiving an apology. The author uses many personal examples through out the book to illustrate her points, and I saw myself identified in both the helpful and unhelpful apologies. The book has definitely made me mindful of my words, and given me more intentionality in interactions with others. I have enjoyed dialoguing about it with my counseling clients as we workshop through their own situations.
- Kristen Turner