What Were You Thinking?

$600-Per-Hour Legal Advice on Relationships, Marriage, and Divorce

By: Mark Barondess

Narrated by: Mark Barondess

Length: 7 hrs and 28 mins

Publisher's summary

Wouldn't it be nice if you could sit down with an attorney who normally charges $600 per hour and receive expert legal advice on what is no doubt one of the biggest decisions you will ever make in your life?

Here is your chance. Mark A. Barondess has written an absolutely indispensable guide for anyone considering coupling, or uncoupling. Filled with hilarious anecdotes, solid legal advice and tricks of the trade you will not find anywhere else, this is THE must-have guide to what everyone needs to know when it comes to the legal ramifications of relationships, marriage, and divorce.

Not only will you get the benefit of Mark's 20 years as a top family law practitioner, you will also receive exclusive candid advice from some of Mark's friends including Larry King, Dr. Phil, Montel Williams, legal legend Robert Shapiro, comedic great Lewis Black, and even rock star Gene Simmons. They all weigh in with their unique thoughts and advice on marriage and divorce.

"Many of life's greatest rewards are bestowed upon those who take the biggest risks. However, before you take any great risk, you should at least have a basic appreciation of the potential consequences of your decision. So pull up a seat, and let's have a conversation. No need to rush, the clock isn't running. Tell me, honestly...what were you thinking?"

©2005 Mark Barondess (P)2005 Phoenix Audio

Critic reviews

"Barondess' informed and occasionally raucous examination of the institution is cheaper than consulting a divorce attorney or hiring a wedding caterer, and is well-worth a look before doing either." (Publishers Weekly)
"Marriage and divorce are two very serious and expensive decisions (trust me, I know). At $600 per hour, this hilarious but sobering book contains approximately $44,000 worth of legal advice from one of the top lawyers in the country. If only I had read this book first." (Montel Williams)

Quite informative and even a little entertaining

Not exactly a topic for entertainment but I did find it very informative and his style and stories did indeed give some entertainment. I am very glad I listened to it.

good material with a few caveats

Interesting material. It's not for or against marriage, but rather a sobering perspective on what you are getting into when you say "I do." It's not boring, as the legal material is interspersed among stories from both the author and others. Overall, this book made a good, if not outstanding, listen as the hours along I-80 continued for what seemed like eternity.

My two complaints would be the lower production value and the reader. The production value is not as good as it should be. The sound volume fluctuates periodically and you can occasionally hear the reader turning papers...Now the reader...He wrote a good book, but he isn't a professional voice and it really shows. He's not horrible, just not good. I strongly recommend listening to the sample before buying this book to make sure you are okay with his reading.

Other than that, listen and learn...

A MUST LISTEN

What did you love best about What Were You Thinking??

Getting divorced you need this

What other book might you compare What Were You Thinking? to and why?

don't know

Which scene was your favorite?

Material Money

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

A smile and a oh sh-t

Any additional comments?

a must

What the book is really about

Plan and simple. This book will not recommend ways to better relate to some one you care about. It will list many reasons NOT to get married, and very few reasons as to why you should get married. It offers NO advice as to how to fix what is currently wrong with a relationship. Do not give this as a wedding gift, but it would be good to give to someone contemplating a divorce.

Some wisdom, bits of law, snark & name-drops

When I did my divorce (I was actively practicing law at the time), I paid a divorce attorney by the hour for specific, fast answers to my main questions. The responses were specific to my state jurisdiction and quite precise. Of course, my questions were pretty precise too. Great, I thought upon seeing this book, and with a good memory of that attorney consultation, I could use some more background (as I have not remarried and have zero intention to). But this book doesn't, largely, hit the same mark, or even have the same aim. Halfway through this book, I have heard all of 30 seconds of that form of advice. And even that is hedged by saying some states do this, some do that. Instead what I have mostly heard are some cynical (if useful) sort of broadly prudent remarks about marriage (OK, this is useful for a lot of ordinary suckers I meet everyday who could have used this advice going in, and who quite frequently wind up with years and hundreds of thousands of bucks worth of unnecessary grief and squandered resources). And of course there is a certain snarkiness which might be to the liking of some. So, there is some use to it, if one lacks this wisdom or is in a pink cloud of a relationship such that his/her thinking is impaired (as humans are wired to experience, quite powerfully. That's where babies come from!). And it could be, for some, a major list of things (especially for those not very analytical or logical by training) to think through first, before putting one's assets and life, as this author analogizes it, all on a bet on red or black at a roulette table representing the 50 percent failure rate in marriage. That could have been useful before my own marriage. But by this time, I'm already there. And in this book there are some artfully put pieces of description scattered here and there about things like prenuptual agreements. I think this author does have a way of talking sense to the average Joe or Jane in the throes of rosy-tinged love, that might be life-saving, or at least cost-avoiding. That might be PART of a lawyer's job, if a sort of counseling rather than, to my thinking, "legal advice." And simple names and definition of some legal tools are sprinkled through. However, this book IS explicitly marketed as "legal advice" (a phrase I would never put in a book title myself, despite its allure to book buyers and potentially, the feedback to an author's wallet). Much of this book is digression into all sorts of more or less irrelevant stuff -- how relevant are the choices of the very rich Gene Simmons of Kiss in his own cohabitation relationship with the also well-off Shannon Tweed? Hearing that in a law office, I would demand some refund on my $600 per hour, if that is the "advice" I'm getting! Sure, Hollywood types can easily have designer or disposable relationships with kids, etc., having big bank accounts and staffs of helpers and so on. Maybe too the lawyers they hang out with. How does this narrative trip to hookups at the Playboy Mansion present a path for Joe six-pack just trying to make some durable plans? And yeah, there are "swinger clubs" where some (possibly, hypothetically) happily married people go, wow, folks are different in a pluralistic and permissive society? Thanks a lot. And how wonderful for the author that he found some survey he made of the swingers' clubs disgusting. Is the $600/hour meter still running on all this? "Legal advice" in my opinion is normally thought of as particular to a person's situation. But some Hollywood/celeb or very exotic, odd story is, to my thinking, primarily relevant to this author crowing about who he knows, and making himself feel good about it and maybe trying to impress or amuse the reader. I'm not quite so easily impressed. It's sort of a fun listen, but not in my opinion at the caliber ("$600 per-hour" it is touted) it purports to be. I'm dubious about having paid the one-credit cost. BTW, I paid that very effective divorce attorney $250 per hour for many fewer hours than this book's length, to get the actual kind of tailored advice and substance of the sort I wanted to get here. (And to see it in book length and of course somewhat more generalized would be good. If such a book exists, and it probably does.) The rest of my divorce I worked out myself with other resources, including my own study and drafting time, but I was after all an attorney myself. However I would recommend this book, for example, to a young person in love and contemplating (through a haze of hormones) the venture to eternal love. Come to think of it, some older people I know are foolish enough to warrant a listen to this too. It is the sort of talk your cynical uncle the lawyer might give you, and really mean it and have your interests at heart (never hesitating, however, to make you sit through some war stories from left field). But charge $600? Meh.

Good General Information

If you are considering marriage I would recommend this book. It will give you a good solid introduction. It will also let you know your pre-marriage options: careful screening of spouse, back-ground checks, and pre-nuptials (or "the life-jacket" as the author describes it).

If you are currently going through a divorce you may also find this book helpful. The author describes the importance of selecting a good attorney, how to manage your attorney once you have one, and the various and sundry details one must know while going through this difficult process.

If you have already been divorced and are considering re-marriage then you will probably find this book an empathetic shoulder to cry on.

There are drawbacks. The reader is poor. He mis-speaks many times and then pauses and slowly repeats the sentence. This annoys. Many of the speakers the author brings in (Louis Black, Montel Williams, Gene Simmons) add an oddball view on marriage -- relevant only to a few.

The author also has a tendency to go on long diatribes about his dislike of the legal system and recommends that all those who annoy him to "up their dosage."

In general I think you will find this book helpful. It is hard to get useful information about this important subject. This book will provide much of it.

Good Lawyer arguing for lawyering

What did you love best about What Were You Thinking??

The best decision I make in my divorce, was to fire my lawyer after 24 hrs, represent myself, and hire a consultant lawyer; for me taking charge produced the desired outcome. Know what you want from your council.
PS: my Ex is a lawyer

What three words best describe Mark Barondess’s voice?

A little too fast, and my sofware would not let me slow him down by 10%

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

yes

Good advice. Somewhat harsh as the truth often is.

Where does What Were You Thinking? rank among all the audiobooks you???ve listened to so far?

Middle

What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

Victoria's Secret purchases being brought up in a divorce..lol

Which character ??? as performed by Mark Barondess ??? was your favorite?

Not sure I had a favorite character.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Both

Any additional comments?

Good advice but be warned it's brutally honest.

To

If you are wondering whether or not to get married, then read (listen) to this book. It will open your eyes to the reality of marriage and the likelihood of divorce. Gives real accounts of the extremes that people will go to in divorce. If you have a friend that is doubting his/her upcoming marriage then this is the book to give - do not give as a wedding gift tho!

What were you thinking

Great!!! Had me laughing and crying at times. What an eye opener. Thanks for the great info.

I feel that even if you are not going through one of these situations, you should still get quite a bit from this book. You never know!