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Publisher's Summary

From a psychiatrist who has spent the past 30 years listening to other people's most intimate secrets and troubles comes an eloquent, incisive, and deeply perceptive book about the things we all share, and which every one of us grapples with as we strive to make the most of the life we have left. After service in Vietnam as a surgeon for the 11th Armored Cavalry Regiment in 1968-69, at the height of the war, Dr. Gordon Livingston returned to the U.S. and began work as a psychiatrist. In that capacity, he has listened to people talk about their lives, what works, what doesn't, and the limitless ways (most of them self-inflicted) that we have found to be unhappy. He is also a parent twice bereaved. In one 13-month period, he lost his eldest son to suicide, his youngest to leukemia. Out of a lifetime of experience, Livingston has extracted 30 bedrock truths: We are what we do. Any relationship is under the control of the person who cares the least. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Only bad things happen quickly. Forgiveness is a form of letting go, but they are not the same thing. The statute of limitations has expired on most of our childhood traumas. Livingston illuminates these and 24 others in a series of carefully hewn, perfectly calibrated essays, many of which emphasize our closest relationships and the things that we do to impede or, less frequently, enhance them. Again and again, these essays underscore that "we are what we do", and that while there may be no escaping who we are, we also have the capacity to face loss, misfortune, and regret and to move beyond them, that it is not too late.
©2004 Gordon Livingston; (P)2005 Recorded Books, LLC
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Critic Reviews

"Among the many blithe and hollow self-help books available everywhere, this book stands out as a jewel." (Publishers Weekly)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By T. Combs on 06-07-07

Not for the

This book isn't for victims. It's for people who are looking for solid, no nonsense, insight on how to move on and move ahead. I felt that the author wasn't judgmental...just extremely factual. It's a great book and I highly recommend it.

Big time bonus points to the reader. His voice is perfect for the material. He doesn't read too quickly, and his inflections are a fantastic addition to the words.

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11 of 11 people found this review helpful


By Amazon Customer on 04-19-06

Serious & Thought Provoking

I would have given this book 5 stars, had I read it in hardback. There were many parts I think I needed to listen to multiple times in order to get a full appreciation for what was being said.

The author offers very sound, serious advice that really made me think. Every lesson brought to mind someone I knew, and I couldn't wait to tell people the advice I'd learned from Dr. Livingston.

Recommended for those who are looking to learn how to view their lives more positively.

Not recommended for those looking solely to be entertained.

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10 of 10 people found this review helpful

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