The Surrendered Wife

By: Laura Doyle

Narrated by: Laura Doyle

Length: 1 hr and 7 mins

Publisher's summary

Like millions of women, Laura Doyle wanted her marriage to be better. But when she tried to get her husband to be more romantic, helpful, and ambitious, he withdrew - and she was lonely and exhausted from controlling everything. Desperate to be in love with her man again, she decided to stop telling him what to do and how to do it. When Doyle surrendered control, something magical happened. The union she had always dreamed of appeared. The man who had wooed her was back.

The underlying principle of The Surrendered Wife is simple: The control women wield at work and with children must be left at the front door of any marriage. Laura Doyle's matrimony shows women how they can both express their needs and have them met while also respecting their husband's choices. When they do, they revitalize intimacy. The Surrendered Wife will show you how to transform a lonely marriage into a passionate union.

©2001 Laura Doyle (P)2001 Simon & Schuster, Inc., All Rights Reserved, SOUND IDEAS Is an Imprint of Simon & Schuster Audio Division, Simon & Schuster, Inc.

Critic reviews

"The Surrendered Wife is a practical and valuable tool for women wanting to regain intimacy in their relationships." (John Gray, author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)

Fed up wife

This book has given me great insight. New things that i will do to become a better wife

very helpful

As a person of 45 years of age,this book contained valuable information. I am getting married next year and it will be my first marriage. I downloaded this book after hearing the on the author on "The Dating Den" podcast. Thank you!!

A different and radical method

Laura describes in simple terms and with clear examples how to respond to your husband differently to inspire the love and relationship you want. It seems radical because as a woman I feel like this is contrary to our nature, but it also makes complete sense. Have not tried any of the strategies yet but am eager to see what a difference it makes in my relationship with my husband.

A great read! Great marital insight

I finished this book in a few hours. Laura shared some great tips, ideas. She really makes you think. I am looking forward to attempting her strategies. I recommend this book.
I'm going to listen to it one more time to let everything sink in. I enjoyed listening.

Golden words of wisdom for controlling wives

I really enjoyed this book. It's just what I needed to hear to become a respectful wife who let's her husband lead and show faith in Him.

Love this Book.

I am single, but this book is teaching me the skills I will apply in relationships

Good little mini book of advice for wives.

I’ve been married over 25 years and have learned some this from my own experience. This was not only a great reminder but I also learned some pointers.

Good information but needs work

First off- some of the info in here is very key to returning to roots and helping marriage return its roles. However- I didn’t agree with some of the things as I felt this could set a foundation for over control and possible abuse. I also really hate that Margaret Sanger was “applauded” for helping the women’s rights movement when in reality she attributed to some seriously horrible crimes in eugenics and of course abortion. Some things can be seen as biblical and others are absolutely not biblical. So idk.. overall it’s got some good info but I would tread very carefully.

Quick listen with compelling ideas

Laura gave me a new perspective on old habits of being critical, opinionated, and insensitive to my husband. As I listened to this book, I was ashamed to think of personal- and recent(!)- examples of my negative behavior. I'll probably repeat the book (or at least a few chapters) to ensure I fully understand and follow Laura's model.

Laura's narrative felt a little impersonal, but wasn't unpleasant. I look forward to her second book!

Have an Open Mind

The author is also the narrator of this book, and I have to admit, I was skeptical of listening to the whole thing because she sounds incredibly young. Despite my hesitation, I listened to the entire book. In the end, there was a lot of scenarios where I would laugh while judging myself guilty of the same behaviors. The material is written in a heterosexual context because that is her personal experience. There is no reason that the concepts cant be applied in any other dynamic. I believe the important principal is not specifically traditional gender rolls and expectations, but rather, knowing yourself well enough to understand if you are more yin or more yang, and applying it thusly.
She waits till the last few minutes to mention "Higher Power/God" which I found pleasant because many marriage improvement books make it more about focusing on your faith then your relationship. She comes across as saying that you can't have a respectful marriage if you don't believe in something higher then yourself. HOWEVER, it is always a tricky thing to get across that trying to control something or someone outside of yourself is as effective as commanding a turnip to grow from a tree, which is the message I believe she intended, not a slight on whether a person has or doesn't have any kind of faith.
Overall, I think the concept of the Surrendered Wife has a lot of good points, and provides an example of what makes the modern relationship structure invisibly toxic. I would have liked to heard more examples of what responding respectfully sounds like, as I dont agree that simply "What do you think?" is very respectful. In my relationship, it tends to cause fights because he assumes I am being dismissive or inattentive.
I recommend the read, it is always good to have insight into a different perspective, even if you dont completely agree.