Regular price: $21.31

Free with 30-day trial
Membership details Membership details
  • A 30-day trial plus your first audiobook, free
  • 1 credit/month after trial – good for any book, any price
  • Easy exchanges – swap any book you don’t love
  • Keep your audiobooks, even if you cancel
  • After your trial, Audible is just $14.95/month
Select or Add a new payment method

Buy Now with 1 Credit

By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Buy Now for $21.31

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's Summary

Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity, providing the insight we so desperately need to help us move beyond a simplistic discussion.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, have the prohibitions against it - in fact adultery has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honoured taboo - universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat? When we say 'infidelity', what exactly do we mean? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage?
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is recognised as one of the most insightful and original voices on modern love. For the past 10 years, she has worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she argues, but healing is possible. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Weaving real-life stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis, Perel invites listeners into a truly revealing exploration of modern marriage.
©2017 Esther Perel (P)2017 HarperCollins Publishers
Show More Show Less

Critic Reviews

"Beautiful. A brilliantly intelligent plea for complexity, understanding, and - as always - kindness." (Alain de Botton)
"Esther Perel does nothing short of strip us of our deepest biases, remind us of our purpose in connecting as lovers, and save relationships that might otherwise sink into the sea-all with even-handed wisdom, fresh morality, and wise prose. Thank heavens for this woman." (Lena Dunham, author of Not That Kind of Girl)
Show More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By Maria Jorquiera on 10-31-17

Fantastic insight even for singles

I am single and while listening to this book, I have learned so much about myself. Amazing stories and new light into accepting that relationships are not black and white, and that is up to you to build one in the best way that serves you.

Read More Hide me

2 of 2 people found this review helpful


By Anonymous User on 11-25-17

Insightful and well produced

What a treat to hear Esther’s wisdom from her own mouth. I recommend the book to all couples, not just those affected by infidelity.

Read More Hide me

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

See all Reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By regarnol on 01-16-18

Listen with your partner

If you could sum up The State of Affairs in three words, what would they be?

A powerful, intrinsic reminder

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

From start to finish my partner and I were glued to this book. We played it during a long car journey and the conversations, insights and reflections that we both took away will stay with us for the rest of our lives.

Read More Hide me

By levasseur on 12-16-17

very interesting for married or even single

what is monogamy now a days and understanding the complexity of relationship boundaries. how far can you - the limit is your perception of what you believe.

Read More Hide me
See all Reviews

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By Charlie R on 10-26-17

Fantastic

An incredible insight into infidelity. It completely challenged and widened my understanding of how we view infidelity and it's repercussions.

Read More Hide me

1 of 1 people found this review helpful


By Ralph on 01-09-18

Excellent but

This is such a useful and timely book! Ester’s wealth of experience, sharp eye and compassionate wisdom is deeply and desperately need at all levels of society.

For myself, I hold to a Christian view of people: that marriage should be for life, that all people can change and become their best selves within this, and that we all need to learn and grow together.

I therefore didn’t find much of value in chapter 14, and hope that everyone can aspire to being the “Explorer” couple described in chapter 15.

All the way along, though, I think her insights and writing are brilliant, compassionate, well-grounded and eminently practical.

Read More Hide me
See all Reviews
© Copyright 1997 - 2018 Audible, Inc