Marriage and relationships are in crisis. The breakup and divorce rates remain incredibly high, despite all the couples therapy, afternoon talk shows, and other books in the marketplace, many of which describe men as abusive commitment-phobic creeps who'd better change fast or else. But this new book is totally different: a whole different way of looking at how to build a successful long-lasting relationship from a man's point of view - men who are happy in their partnerships, who have figured out what works for them in accomplishing the goal of a loving, intimate, lifetime commitment.
Dr. Scott Haltzman, Clinical Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Brown University and founder of www.secretsofmarriedmen.com, has devised a proven method for improving relationships, based on a man's special and unique skills, strengths, powers - as a responsible and motivated worker, manager, leader, problem-solver, partner, husband, and father. Men are different, Dr. Haltzman says. They don't approach relationships with the same skills and techniques that women do - and viva la difference. Dr.Haltzman therefore lays out eight ways, tasks, proven techniques which men have revealed in confidential correspondence to his highly successful website, including:
The First Way: Make Your Marriage Your Job
The Second Way: Know Your Wife
The Third Way: Be Home Now
The Fourth Way: Expect Conflict and Deal With It
The Fifth Way: Learn to Listen
The Sixth Way: Aim to Please
The Seventh Way: Understand the Truth About Sex
The Eighth Way: Introduce Yourself
And finally, Celebrate Your Love.
Within each of these steps, he provides both specific analysis, guidelines, and techniques based on male biology, neuro-science, brain differences, and unique developmental stages from youth to seniority.
To illustrate these ideas in action, he's included wonderful true stories, anecdotes, and confessions from the website. The result is a practical, very entertaining, totally original way to build successful relationships for men and their partners, girlfriends, and wives.
For a lasting commitment, a continuing guide to solving inevitable problems and bumps in the road, for more fun, better sex, genuine intimacy, and a life-long partnership - this dynamic new author shows the way in a manner that finally includes an authentic male perspective.
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Some New Ideas, Some Old
Book was relevant in a general sense to most married men - some new ideas and ways of thinking about things, but much of what was written will be familiar to men who have been in relationship counseling beflre.
The section that covers treating your marriage like a job was most interesting - an interesting and useful framework for men who are occupation driven. Least interesting was perhaps the slights at feminism in the first half of the book - perhaps a bit of a stretch, as was the criticism of marriage counselors.
Good voice and tone - would have liked to have had some indication when the author was speaking in italics on behalf of an interviewee.
Not really - a few things made me think.
The author criticizes marital counseling, but then proceeds to make many of the same recommendations that you'll get in marriage counseling. The book has a few valuable nuggets, though - definitely worth a listen/read.
some great ideas but a bit old fashioned.