The New Rules of Marriage

  • by Terrence Real
  • Narrated by Marc Cashman
  • 10 hrs and 36 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

In his extraordinary new audiobook, Terrence Real, distinguished therapist and best-selling author, presents a long overdue message that women need to hear: You aren't crazy. You're right! Women have changed in the last 25 years. They have become more powerful, independent, self-confident, and happy. Yet men remain irresponsible and emotionally detached. They don't know how to respond to frustrated partners who just want their mates to show up and grow up.
Enter the good news: In this revolutionary audiobook, Real offers women a set of effective tools with which they can create the truly intimate relationships they desire and deserve. He guides you through the process of relationship repair with exercises that you can do alone or with your partner.
We have never wanted so much from our relationships as we do today. More than any other generation, we yearn for our mates to be lifelong friends and lovers. The New Rules of Marriage shows us how to fulfill this courageous and uncompromising new vision.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Terribly woman biased, but not completely terrible

I could not get through this entire book. Every case study presented told of what the man should do different to understand his wife. Rarely was the opposite ever presented. Even when the woman could have benefited as well.

Granted there are male chauvinists out their who could use this book, but I do not believe this book is for the couple who is looking to help each other or for the woman who is looking to understand her husband.

It should be titled "The New Rules of Marriage for Men"

I gave it two stars only because each chapter ended with probing questions to ask yourself or each other that did help. I would have given it all 5 stars if the author took a more balanced approach.
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- Mindi

Some biases have truth in them

I think this book is an amazing tool for a person like me that in some respects is crippled in my ability to understand how my words and attitudes toward others affect them. I learn best in these areas by having concrete rules to follow, coupled with examples that make it obvious how not following these rules impacts on my relationship with others, including my wife. Does it work all the time? No, especially when I'm feeling angry or shamed, but it gives me a firm foundation on which to base my later analysis of mistakes.

I agree that there is a male bias to this book, but I don't think that it's a fault. Many of the basic problems in my, and my friend's, relationships are leftover early 1900's paternalistic ways of interacting with others, and to try to balance this out moves the focus from the problem to some version of misplaced fairness. Sure, a proportion of the men that read this are going to feel uncomfortable or get angry, but self-knowledge is rarely easy to swallow. On the other hand, there is much here for either sex to learn. For example, the idea that intimacy is helping your partner learn how to give you what you need is gender-neutral. Also, much of the book focuses on dysfunctional interactions rather than either party's character defects.

So, I would say this book should be read by those who need concrete rules and practical examples rather than more general concepts of how relationships work; are accepting of the idea that men may be more at fault than women when relationships fail; and don't mind a long book that looks at each issue of importance from several aspects. The suggested work at the ends of the chapters complement the text, although some exercises are better than others.
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- Wayne

Book Details

  • Release Date: 02-05-2007
  • Publisher: Books on Tape