The Assertiveness Guide for Women

  • by Julie de Azevedo Hanks PhD LCSW
  • Narrated by Rebecca Roberts
  • 5 hrs and 21 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

Isn't it time you took a stand? Many women struggle with assertiveness, but if you're prone to anxiety and avoidance, it is especially difficult. Grounded in attachment theory, this essential guide will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life.
When you're assertive, you're able to communicate your needs and wishes clearly while respecting yourself and anyone else involved in the interaction. But when you aren't assertive, you may stop yourself from saying anything when your needs aren't being met, or end up lashing out in hostile or hurtful ways. People with different attachment styles struggle with being assertive for different reasons, and even women with a secure attachment style may have difficulty expressing emotion when faced with challenging circumstances.
Using strategies based in mindfulness, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), The Assertiveness Guide for Women can help you understand the attachment styles that keep you from asserting yourself. You'll learn about the three communication stances - from the passive Doormat to the aggressive (or passive-aggressive) Sword to the assertive Lantern - and find practical examples that show you how to apply your new communication and emotional awareness skills in your own life. Rather than being caught in a cycle of rumination and regret when you're unable to express yourself or even acknowledge your own needs, you'll be ready to assert yourself and get what you want.
Whether you're anxious and overwhelmed by the intensity of your emotions, avoidant and struggle to identify your emotions, or otherwise have difficulty expressing yourself, this book will help you become more aware of your own thoughts and feelings, and empower you to ask for what you need, set boundaries, and speak your truth for a more fulfilling life.


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Simple, precise, specific for contemporary women

I am so grateful to have found this book right now. I have never really educated myself on emotional intelligence. This book is thorough without being overwhelming. It makes the listener feel very hopeful at the possibility of overcoming the challenges of being assertive as a woman when society and family dynamics have discouraged such skills in women. I suppose I feel kind of behind not knowing about any of these concepts (they seem so simple and to have so much potential to transform ones life) but the writing and the delivery of the book is so unpretentious, non judge mental and hopeful. It actually makes me excited to work on some of the areas of my life that I have been avoiding to hear the writer talk about it so positively and with such ease. I recently ended my relationship of 3 years because I was simple unable to ask for what I needed then I would have outbursts of anger when my life wasn't the way I wanted it - I'm hoping to learn a lot from this book and make some necessary changes.
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- Lindsey

Some takeaways

I appreciate the author writing this book and value her vulnerability to share her own experience with an Anxious Attachment style. I am happy (and jealous) that she found out about attachment theory in high school. I am now 48 and grieve my lost years, I was 39 when I began to learn how childhood trauma and insecure attachment have affected my brain development, thinking, emotions, behavior and relationships.

This book had some takeaway information that were helpful to observe and practice in my own day to day life while I listened to to the book 3 times over the course of a month.

I think this book has broad and basic level content and good for newbies.
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- Kimberly Kinney

Book Details

  • Release Date: 09-07-2016
  • Publisher: Wetware Media