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I almost didn't get this book because of some of the negative reviews. As I have read, listened to and enjoyed How to Win Friends and Influence People several times since a teenager - I figured this book wouldn't seem to offer any additional value.
THAT IS PLAINLY NOT TRUE! - at least not for me.
I have honestly never, ever heard such a CLEAR and pragmatic discussion on the question of effective assertiveness. Perhaps that is because of where I'm currently in my life, and what I've learned this far. I was 'ready' for it.
Effective assertiveness - is MY main issue, and I think that's a more common issue for women than we might think.
I believe in the responsibility of speaking up, especially when I'm speaking up on someone else's behalf, or simply for what's been agreed upon, what has been promised and so on. I think I'm being constructively ASSERTIVE, yet I'm probably often coming off as AGGRESSIVE.
And then I realize that that's how I come across - so I apologize, and back off.
This book taught me I can stick to my assertiveness, the WHAT, and simply 're-designing' the HOW. I have a very hard time being 'fake'; that is saying stuff I don't mean, so these tips are very pragmatic and useful, in staying assertiveness, yet in a way that make people perceive it as assertiveness, and not aggressiveness.
We, as humans, have stricter rules for how women can behave, especially when it comes to assertiveness. The balance is more narrow. We are easily judged as aggressive, 'bitch' when behaving in a way that would not just be accepted from a man, but even admired.
No point in complaining about that.
Simply learn to play by the rules, so you truly can contribute with everything you can, and enjoy the freedom to speak your mind in order to be a valuable contributor. Keep up your listening skills, admit mistakes, be flexible - AND learn to be ASSERTIVE in an EFFECTIVE way - and there is no limit.
This book is HIGHLY ENLIGHTENING!
16 of 16 people found this review helpful
for everybody, not just career holders!
I'm A homemaker and can use these skills in my home!
0 of 1 people found this review helpful
Even though it is easy to listen to, it is just a slight variation of "How to win friends and influence people".
Would not recomend spending time on this book, only on the other one mentioned if you hadn't read it yet.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful