Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage

  • by John M. Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Joan DeClaire
  • Narrated by Susan Denaker
  • 9 hrs and 17 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict, with more than 90-percent accuracy, whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, the Gottmans share this vital information so that couples can develop the skills to turn their relationship problems around and create strong, lasting unions. What emerged from the Gottmans' collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that's based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends; and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at 10 couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems, extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy, and examine what they've done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track.
Giving an insider's view of the Love Lab, the Gottmans take the listener step-by-step through the couples' conversations, before and after they are counseled. The authors also provide an analysis of the couples' interactions, identifying their core problems and offering suggestions for resolving them. By "listening" to the discussions in this way, you will learn to detect the most common stumbling blocks of a relationship and, most important, how to avoid them.


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

One of the basics

A must have book if you are serious about working on your marriage. I have read several books and many refer to the work in this one.
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- DGM "dmess86"

A Game Changer

This book changed the way I speak to my wife, particularly when the conversation is argumentative, merely after hearing the first recorded and analyzed conversation in the book. The biggest thing for me was defensiveness and I saw it right away in the dialogue that they present in the book.

They use recorded transcripts of real couples talking (voiced by the narrator) and then analyze the back-and-forth relatively quickly. You can see yourself, if you're like me, in many of the conversations.

It truly helped, but it would be best if the authors were with me as I conversed (argued) with my wife, as I worry that I will fall back into old habits as I often do after reading great advice like this. I need her to read it too.
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- Dave

Book Details

  • Release Date: 05-16-2006
  • Publisher: Books on Tape