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I loved the first chapters, some chapters didn't apply to the crazies in my life but it was still worth listening to, because you never know...
I was able to see so many characteristics in the people I know and they were all over the spectrum, the histrionic, the narcisistic, the dependent, the paranoid, the borderline and thank God no sociopathic... I very much enjoyed the labeling, hehehe specially when thinking about the inlaws and Thanksgiving, OMG that nailed it!!!but then the book gets deeper and makes you feel a little more empathic to some, I don't feel like I need to slap some reason into a particular friend, and I'm ready to say a definite goodbye to another.
Very liberating, I would highly recommend it.
42 of 43 people found this review helpful
The book's optimistic title caught my interest, but alas it doesn't live up to its title. The problem is that the author focuses too much on specific situations rather that fostering an attitude of listening. The main message of the book is to put yourself in the shoes of other people. But rather than helping foster this attitude, he seems to act as if each situation is different. For example, he gives advice such as, "say - (insert specific advice) - then pause and say, really, then say oh tell me more".
Much of the advice is suspicious because the author is seeing his results from a biased sample size - the people that he actually follows up with or give him messages that his advice works. But people don't bother to follow up when things go wrong. So he is getting message back that his system works, but it made me wonder how often is advice goes bad.
Also, one of his main recommendations involves telling others how they feel! In my experience people don't like it when I presume to know how they are feeling. Much better to ask rather than assume. I was surprised how often he recommends this approach. It may work for the author who has years of experience, but I am not going presume to know what someone else is feeling - it is very likely to blow up in my face. We've all heard that assuming makes an a** out of you and me.
If the author's advice actually does work, I would rather have him tell me the underlying beliefs and values he holds and how he comes to his advice, rather than a manual for dealing with specific situations of crazy.
I gave the book 2 stars because it was entertaining enough to listen to on my way to work.
122 of 131 people found this review helpful
This book contains some of the most common-sense, interpersonal advice, I've ever heard and is a useful tool for my therapist kit bag
2 of 2 people found this review helpful