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I am a physician. This book is outstanding. I got it for a close friend. He is the caretaker of a borderline/narcissist. They met under turbulent circumstances and he helped bring order to her life. He became her hero. She adored him and brought fun and excitement into his life. He gave her a lot and helped change her life circumstances, yet the drama continued in other directions, engulfing him as well. My friend's previously calm and logical life was constantly in a tizzy and he couldn't figure out why.
Now he gets it. It's not him. She has a mental illness and he can't change that. The more he tries to change her, the more the madness continues.
This book is about acceptance and moving forward. It teaches you to care for a loved one without fixing them. It teaches you your own role in the madness. And that is great. Because ultimately, you can change your own behavior. And once you do, change will come. Get this book. It is nonjudgemental, unlike so much of our culture, and allows you to keep loving the person in your life. You will be the change.
28 of 28 people found this review helpful
I've read eggshells, the essential family guide, and I hate you don't leave me. I've joined a WTO group and have read as many articles on BPD/NPD as I can get my hands on. Just trying to make sense of the chaos my world has become since this person came into my life, and finally, I found a book that made me feel like I can finally get my life back. I can be a happy, relaxed confidently sane human being again. It is possible.
47 of 48 people found this review helpful
Great validating book for anyone with a caretaking type personality and anyone who has encountered a suspected borderline or narcissist in their personal relationships. Even though I have done a fair bit of reading already on subject matter, this read went clearly over the basics, reinforced good habits and just help me to clarify somewhat my experience which had felt very traumatic, but this simplifies it in a good way without dismissing the experience of the caretaker. It also covers a lot of material with a section which Focuses on the caretaker to make their life free and I hope reach serenity x
Felt like I was completely understood, and explained why my relationships have been so draining
0 of 1 people found this review helpful
beautifully narrated, excellent precise material, life changing book, thank you to the author for writing
Finally a book that helped me to understand what I was doing. Very easy to understand and relate to. I have read many books on narcissism and this is the only one that really helped me.
I would recommend this book to anyone who is trying to live with a narcissist .