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The relentless pursuit of high self-esteem has become a virtual religion - and a tyrannical one at that. Our ultracompetitive culture tells us we need to be constantly above average to feel good about ourselves, but there is always someone more attractive, successful, or intelligent than we are. And even when we do manage to grab hold of high self-esteem for a brief moment, we can't seem to keep it. Our sense of self-worth goes up and down like a ping-pong ball, rising and falling in lockstep with our latest success or failure.
Fortunately, there is an alternative to self-esteem that many experts believe is a better and more effective path to happiness: self-compassion. The research of Dr. Kristin Neff and other leading psychologists indicates that people who are compassionate toward their failings and imperfections experience greater well-being than those who repeatedly judge themselves. The feelings of security and self-worth provided by self-compassion are also highly stable, kicking in precisely when self-esteem falls down. This book powerfully demonstrates why it's so important to be self-compassionate and give yourself the same caring support you'd give to a good friend.
This groundbreaking work will show you how to let go of debilitating self-criticism and finally learn to be kind to yourself. Using solid empirical research, personal stories, practical exercises, and humor, Dr. Neff - the world's foremost expert on self-compassion - explains how to heal destructive emotional patterns so that you can be healthier, happier, and more effective. Engaging, highly listenable, and eminently accessible, this book has the power to change your life.
Customer ReviewsMost Helpful
By Erika on 03-28-13
Learning self-compassion is transforming my life.
This book & the techniques taught have tremendously improved my well being. I was raised in a highly critical environment, where I was criticized for which movie I watched (because I had already seen it before), which sport I wanted to play (because I didn't have natural ability), and more recently, going back to graduate school ("your life will be better if you stay in your job"). I internalized this criticism and I have dealt with depression and anxiety for the majority of my life. By relating to myself with compassion, I am happier because I now know am not at fault for every struggle in my life. I am also more resilient because I do not attack myself & get caught in a negative spiral when I make mistakes. I am more productive in my work and more present for my life.
I wish I had learned these techniques as a 12-year-old, but I am so glad to have learned them now. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has a negative dialogue inside their mind on a regular basis. I am grateful for Kristen Neff's work.
49 of 49 people found this review helpful
By itwiznet on 08-08-12
Powerful Light on Your Psyche
Where does Self-Compassion rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
By far this is the best self-help and self-development book, I listened. Totally honestly, this audiobook is a must if you have ever listened to people like Anthony Robbins, and other motivational speakers out there.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
I was shaken by every section of this book especially the Self-Esteem section. I always knew that being untruthful to yourself was not good, yet I failed to understand why? This book just awakened the deeply rooted darkness in my psyche. Those who bought on the idea of self-esteem must listen to this. Thank you Mrs. Neff, you are such a light in this world. This book undoubtedly is your life's mission.
Any additional comments?
The best self-help book ever. Once again thank you Mrs. Neff.
18 of 18 people found this review helpful