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Publisher's Summary

The wounds inflicted by an "unsafe" person can go deep. If you've ever been in a relationship where you were used, abused, or abandoned, then Safe People is for you. It will help you make wise choices in relationships from friendships to romance. You'll discover why good people can get tangled in bad relationships. And you'll learn how to avoid repeating your own mistakes and how to pick safe, healthy people for the friends you make and the company you keep. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend share expert insights that will help you:

Correct things within you that jeopardize your relational security
Learn the 20 traits of unsafe people
Recognize what makes people trustworthy
Avoid unhealthy relationships
Become a safe person yourself

©1995 Henry Cloud and John Townsend (P)2009 Zondervan
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By Weedarkone on 06-14-12

Excellent analysis of Safe and Unsafe People

Nota Bene: this book is written by Christian therapists who look at things (at least in this book) from a Christian point of view. That said, if you are a Christian, you will find this analysis exceedingly useful. If you are not a Christian, I would imagine that you could still find the book useful, although, you might get annoyed by the constant references to God and what God wants for our lives. It depends on your tolerance for that kind of talk, I think.

That said, I (as a Christian) found this book to be SO helpful, I have listened to it at least ten times since I bought it about a month ago. I will listen to a chapter, then listen again and again, taking notes and trying to remember the endless amounts of good advice and analysis provided.

This book is split into parts, with lots of lists (something I loved).

The first part discusses in detail the characteristics of Unsafe People.
The second part analyzes why we befriend Unsafe People.
The third part discusses the characteristics of Safe People, how to become one, and how to befriend them.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has trouble making and keeping friendships with people who make them feel good and happy, and who help them to be the best people they can be. You need this book if most of your friends are dysfunctional people (aren't we all) who persist in their dysfunction, instead of who seek to grow and move out of their harmful ways. Or for those who have simply given up on trying to make new friends because they have been let down so many times, they just don't see the point anymore.

This book is for you.

As for the reader, he does a fantastic job of reading this book, even going to the point of using different voices for other men, women, or children. It's actually quite endearing. He does a great job of capturing the emotion behind the author's words, but without being maudlin. Great job, reader!

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26 of 27 people found this review helpful


By ria on 10-02-12

excellent for learning about yourself and others

Where does Safe People rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I have listened to many audiobooks for learning about myself and others, this is by far up there with my top 3

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8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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Customer Reviews

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By Ingríd Fáro on 11-30-14

Good very Good

What made the experience of listening to Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't the most enjoyable?

If you can ignore the very annoying God God God talk, there is Great wisdom there.

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2 of 2 people found this review helpful


By Emma on 07-10-16

Christian Propaganda

What disappointed you about Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't?

If you enjoyed bible study class in pre-school then this book is for you. If you think the sum of human knowledge is expressed in psalms, stuff the good lord and his PR people said you'll enjoy this almost as much as the Bible, maybe more because it's basically a recap. If however, like me, you've been fooled into thinking this book contains any psychological, clinical, or therapeutic advice at all, then not so much. Or at all. It might make you angry because despite claiming to be good Christians, these guys won't give you your money back and unless you own a time machine, you won't get that back either.

What could Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Not referencing Jesus, the bible or what their god has planned for me in every single paragraph would be a great start. Emblazoning the cover with a disclaimer like WARNING THIS IS RELIGIOUS PROPAGANDA MASQUERADING AS A SELF-HELP PSYCHOLOGY BOOK would be a close second.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

It's hard to detract from absolute drivel.

What character would you cut from Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't?

The authors, the publishers and anyone who conspired to make this happen. Can I get my money back please?

Any additional comments?

Just don't expect to learn anything about psychology from this book. I get that it's not an academic tome but why is it sold as non-fiction?<br/>Even to the layperson, there is just no practical application to any of this, beyond leave it to Jesus, he has a plan for you.<br/>

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0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By Stuart on 12-04-17

Very useful

I first heard about this book through another by the same authors - Boundaries in Marriage.

I have found this book to be very practical and helpful in helping me deal with relational issue,ms, by looking at myself first.

The authors clarify that ending a relationship is not a form of boundary setting, and they provide ways to help to determine if a relationship can be salvaged. More often than not, there are ways to come back from the edge and to set healthy boundaries.

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