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I am a K-12 School Counselor and this is the kind of book I'm looking for as I work with kids with behavioral issues such as anger and inability to socialize with other kids and adults (I'm talking about students not school administrators). I'm interested in books with real life scenarios and this is the best book I've found thus far. What books do you recommend?
4 of 4 people found this review helpful
This book was excellent! I read a lot of parenting books, and I find that they tend to fall into two camps. Some are primarily about general principles and philosophies, but are short on specific advice. Alfie Kohn's "Unconditional Parenting" is an example of this type. They're valuable, but could be frustrating for someone looking for specific ideas about what to do. "Raising Human Beings" is a great example of the second type, which is the instruction manual type of parenting book.
Dr. Greene certainly has a general philosophy that comes through in his book, but it's a very pragmatic philosophy. His assertion is that things will be better for everyone if you collaborate to resolve problems instead of using power to coerce obedience. One of the big differences is that Dr. Greene isn't suggesting that you change the goals you have for your kids (finishing homework, cleaning up their room, treating their siblings respectfully, etc.) he's just showing you how best to work with your kids to help them meet your expectations.
What makes this book so helpful is that Dr. Greene provides step-by-step instructions and even scripts you can follow. He tells you what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. For someone struggling to make changes to their parenting, this can be extremely helpful. Having a script can help keep you from falling into the patterns you're hoping to change.
My only real complaints about the book are very minor. For one, Dr. Greene refers to coercion as "Plan A" throughout the book, even though that's the method he doesn't recommend. Every time I've ever heard the phrase "Plan A" used in the past, it's been in reference to a course of action that should be done first, as your primary choice. Having him use it in the exact opposite of the traditional sense is confusing, especially since there doesn't seem to be any reason behind it. He very easily could have chosen different nomenclature for his system to avoid confusion. I also think that he sells himself a bit short. He recommends using this system only when things are calm and relaxed, usually after a conflict has occurred. I've noticed a number of times where his system would work perfectly in the moment in my own life, when one of your children is doing something you don't want them to do, but when nobody is yet losing their cool. I think including a short section on using his methods as a preventive measure instead of waiting until they've already gone bad would have been helpful, and would have demonstrated the versatility of this powerful system.
A very strong 4.5 stars from me! This is one of those books I immediately wanted to share with all of my friends because it offered such an innovative and pragmatic solution to problems we all face.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
Make you think differently however it's doesn't give you examples of how to deal with the things that crop up routinely and where it don't have time to "collaborate" with the child. I'm just starting but this process takes time. Make get quicker with time?
1 of 1 people found this review helpful