Not 'Just Friends'

Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

By: Shirley P. Glass Ph.D., Jean Coppock Staeheli

Narrated by: Laural Merlington

Length: 15 hrs and 10 mins

Publisher's summary

Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.

©2004 Shirley Glass, Jean Coppock Staeheli (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

Critic reviews

“ Not ‘Just Friends’ puts a new face on infidelity. The author, using clinical experience and current research, broadens its definition, causes, and means of resolution. I recommend it for anyone considering an affair, in an affair, or recovering from an affair.” (Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples)

“A must-read for anyone who ever hopes to be happy in a long-term relationship.” (Pat Love, Ed.D., author of The Truth About Love and Hot Monogamy)

Excellent!

I could not put it down. I think anyone who is experiencing any type of extramarital affair well find this book quite helpful.

Ever heard 'Just Friends' or I love you BUT...

If you could sum up Not 'Just Friends' in three words, what would they be?

This book is for anyone who has ever heard 'we are just friends' or I love you but i'm not in love with you or been involved in an affair (the betrayed, the affair partner OR lover) or even if you are trying to 'affair proof' your marriage... this book hits all angles and is very well written.

I highly recommend it.

What other book might you compare Not 'Just Friends' to and why?

What makes love last or Hold me tight - because all three are a must have for all marriages.

What does Laural Merlington bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Very well read, it is a pleasure to listen too.

What insight do you think you’ll apply from Not 'Just Friends'?

Understanding affairs from many angles in an insightful way.

Any additional comments?

If your life has been touched by an affair, even if it is past and long gone... read this book.

Great resource

Excellent resource for understanding the life changing effects of infidelity. Highly recommend this reading. This one should be read and reread.

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Loved the book, NOT the reader

So much great content in this book.
The reader has an irritating voice and makes a very “wimpy/Whitney/dumb” tone when reading the parts of the men. I books hardly stand it!
It’s been a major roadblock for my husband to listen to it. He just “can’t stand that voice!”

If an affair has effected your marriage - you both need to read this book!

After 9 months of full on PTSD, after discovering my husbands affair, this book truly opened my mind and heart. I’ve read so many books on affairs, forgiveness, the whys the why nots, should I stay or go. Listened to hundreds of podcasts pertaining to infidelity and all I could do was dwell and obsess, barely functioning or interacting with the outside world. Couples counseling, marriage retreats, you name it, I still felt numb of shock each time I attend.

After listening Not Just Friends, I started to understand instead of dwell. I numbness started to fade. With each chapter I could relate to something. I appreciated the questions at the end of each chapter. This book is a must to assist anyone in the midst of recovery. I truly felt ready to offer my husband forgives after I completed the book.

My endearing gratitude to the authors. This book was my answer! I needed a roadmap that counseling wasn’t providing. My husband and I cannot saving us!

A must read book if you are dealing with an infidelity

A excellent book about infidelity. It cove
rs everything. I have read several self help books on the subject,and this book clearly is the best. When it telling about recovery and healing and possibly making a marriage work. Almost impossible unless the other spouse is willing to read the book also. This way you’re both are on the same page, and know what is expected of each other to recover. Which in my case has not, so trying to recover a marriage on a one way street is effortless. I have read the book and then bought the Audible and listened to it. I highly recommend this book if you are trying to recover together, or if you just end up recovering alone. I give this book 5 stars. I don’t know if this is an allowed but I also recommend another book called Surviving Infidelity by Rona B. Subotnik, L.M.F.T., and Gloria G. Harris, Ph.D.

working towards sanity

If you could sum up Not 'Just Friends' in three words, what would they be?

There is a lot of good information - sometimes repetitive - only wish had heard it earlier..

A Good Book You'll Wish You Didn't Have to Read

I suspect if you're reading this book, you're likely in the aftermath of an affair that has rocked your marriage. While the book touches on all the different types of affairs and who gets involved in them the meat of the book is on affairs that start as friendships and turn into both emotional and physical affairs. These combined affairs are particularly destructive to the primary relationship, and have become more common as women achieve greater equality in society. If you're the betrayed spouse listening at times can be very painful, as you can easily imagine your wandering spouse going down the road Dr. Glass describes in the book. The only knock on the book is that it's nearly 20 years old and could use an update based on new trends and the role technology plays in affairs. Most of the advice is timeless though. A great read, but I really wish I wasn't compelled to read it...

Very Insightful

Was easy to listen to. Solid advice with data to back up. Just wish I found this book a long time ago. Thank you.