Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As an RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her 20 years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. No Bad Kids is a collection of Janet's most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. No Bad Kids provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children's eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.
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- Rafaela Walker
Entitled Generation Handbook
As a mother of an adult child, as well as a toddler, I have to say that there were a lot of useful hints as to how to handle frustrating situations. However, I feel her style fosters an unhealthy view of authority for children when it comes to parents. While children should never fear being hurt by their parents, they should have a sense of what respectful boundaries are. You don't blame yourself for your child hitting someone after you've told him that it's not acceptable behavior and clearly stated a consequence if the action is repeated. Otherwise, I feel, this sends a message to the child that their negative actions are your fault not theirs. This is where the sense of entitlement is fostered. "Nothing is my fault, it is someone else's. Therefore, I don't deserve to be held responsible." It is the bigger messages we are portraying for children that matter in their adulthood, not smaller situational messages that could lead to coping issue later on in life. I'm no expert but my older son is respectful, sensitive, responsible, empathetic, confident, and hardworking. He is many things most adults aspire to be, including myself. He is a product of many factors but never did I once not hold him accountable for his actions, even in toddler hood. Was he spanked? Once. Does he remember it? YES. Is he scarred? NO. He is a well adjusted, non aggressive person. He looks for reasons not to fight or use force even though he studies martial arts and is built like a brick wall. He is not perfect, but he is someone I'm very proud of. I intend to keep my parenting style in hopes that my toddler will be similar to his older brother.
Maybe I'll write a book someday :)
I'll stick to fiction now.
She did well for the material.
I think I said what I needed to.