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Susan Johnson's book "Hold me tight" gives a wonderful and crystal clear introduction to emotionally focused couples therapy, and it is in fact the best book I have ever read on couples therapy. And I have read lots of books on this topic the last ten years!! "Hold me tight" has changed my way of working with couples and it has had positive and important impact on my personal life, too. I really recommend it to everybody, even those who are single at the moment!
As Susan Johnsen says: This approach works for truck drivers as well as for lawyers. As a Norwegian psychologist and family therapist I will add: It even works for Norwegians, these shy vikings, who doesn't show too much emotion ;-)
38 of 39 people found this review helpful
If you could sum up Hold Me Tight in three words, what would they be?
Meaningful, Palpable, Useful!
What did you like best about this story?
An actual self help book that has substance and can help! I am a Psychiatrist and Psychoanalyst, and am generally not impressed by self help books, but this one actually allows one to use some general principals and tailor the solutions to one's own marriage or relationship for deep, and long lasting changes. Debra A. Hill, M.D., Laguna Hills, CA
What about Sandra Burr’s performance did you like?
Excellent reader. Clearly a professional!
What insight do you think you’ll apply from Hold Me Tight?
I liked the description of the emotional dances called "Find the Bad Guy," or the "Protest Polka," or "Freeze and Flee." By giving these names to the "demon dialogues" as the author calls them, it gives a couple the opportunity to unite against these "demons" by giving them a name. When two people are united against something, it propels them to want to work together to avoid the problems, and takes the blaming away. I loved the premise that troubles in the relationships are linked back to a break in the safe feeling of attachment to one another, because that safe attached feeling is what love is really all about! When that is threatened, we become scared and angry, want to plead for attention, and if it happens over and over again, we freeze up our feelings and flee. Through the seven suggested conversations, the author shows how to get through these tough experiences to reconnect, heal and feel a "lifetime of love."
Any additional comments?
None of the other marriage books make any sense. Once you read this one, it stands head and shoulders above all of the others. There's a lot in it, and it can be a rather emotional experience for one to read the book, as the reader will see many examples of dialogue between couples that are very real and palpable that they will no doubt relate to that were painful when they themselves were in the midst of them. It's a good idea to take it slow, and read the book several times to take it all in. It is an excellent adjunct to being in couples therapy and I use it all of the time in my own private practice. Debra A. Hill, M.D., Laguna Hills, CA
17 of 17 people found this review helpful
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
I think the content of the book is very good and I would really love to be able to listen to it but I cannot abide the narrator when she mimics the male voices in the case studies! Otherwise she is a good narrator, but why on earth does she try to sound like a man....I just can't listen to it.
What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
Sorry, I never reached the end!
Who might you have cast as narrator instead of Sandra Burr?
Sandra Burr is a good narrator - if only she had read the case studies in her natural voice, I would have had no problem with her narration.
Did Hold Me Tight inspire you to do anything?
This book came highly recommended, as the author is noteworthy in her field. Therefore, I may well persevere with the annoyances I find with the narration, just to find out if I can apply anything to my own situation. I haven't listened to the book for several months now and can only do so in short bursts.
Any additional comments?
I would strongly suggest rerecording this book, possibly with the same narrator, but definitely without the fake male voices... please!
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
Sounds like a robot. The ideas are great but it’s too painful to listen to.
it has pretty good tips and as it has so many stories that is easy to relate
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
This voice does not seem real to me. It sounds like a machine. The timing is off. Words like 'liveable' are pronounced incorrectly.