Parents act as a mirror to show a child who she or he is. Throughout childhood there will be other mirrors, but children inevitably return to the reflection in that original mirror in order to determine their goodness, importance, and self-worth. In Healing Your Emotional Self, Beverly Engle offers her highly effective Mirror Therapy program to help you reject the distorted images your parents either intentionally or unintentionally projected onto you. She explores the seven types of emotionally abusive or neglectful parents and the seven most common parental mirrors, providing specific advice and recovery strategies for each one.
Helping you raise your self-esteem and improve your self-image, this innovative step-by-step program provides you with the skills you need to:
Create a positive self-image separate from your abusive parents' distorted picture
Separate emotionally from your parents and provide for yourself what you missed as a child
Discover who you really are – including your likes, dislikes, values, goals, and dreams – by creating a word self-portrait and using other Mirror Therapy techniques
Overcome your tendency toward self-blame, self-hatred, and self-destructiveness
Learn self-nurturing and set effective limits to help you control your tendency to overeat, drink too much, overspend, and/or overwork
Become the person you are meant to be by being more accepting of yourself
Learn to love who you see in the mirror with the breakthrough program found in Healing Your Emotional Self
"Emotionally abusive parents are indeed toxic parents, and they cause significant damage to their children's self-esteem, self-image, and body image. In this remarkable book, Beverly Engel shares her powerful Mirror Therapy program for helping adult survivors to overcome their shame and self-criticism, become more compassionate and accepting of themselves, and create a more posititve self-image. I strongly recommend it for anyone who was abused or neglected as a child." (Susan Forward, Ph.D., author of Toxic Parents)
"In this book, Beverly Engel documents the wide range of psychological abuses that so many children experience in growing up. Her case examples and personal accounts are poignant and powerful reminders that as adults, many of us are still limited by the defenses we formed when trying to protect ourselves in the face of the painful circumstances we found ourselves in as children. Engle's insightful questionnaires and exercises provide concrete help in the healing process, and her writing style is lively and engaging. This book is destined to positively affect many lives." (Joyce Catlett, M.A., co-author of Fear of Intimacy)
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Presumes a damaged childhood
While this might make a list of recommended books, it would not be among the first on the list.
I believe the content is sound, and based on years of training and experience. I have no doubt that what is presented is accurate and has insight.
I might. The material in this book is somewhat dry. Ms. Hart's voice is sometimes too soothing - I wouldn't recommend this book while driving!
Perhaps, but it was the wrong book for my particular needs.
This book assumes a person has problems with that stem from bad parenting. In listening to it, I found myself being thankful for my parents who were not abusive, inattentive, manipulative, narcissistic, hyper-critical, etc.
If that is your story, then I believe this book to be quite useful (and I wish you a succesful journey from such a dark place). If you have feelings of inadequacy that are not directly related to your relationship with your parents, this is NOT the book for you.
- Robert A. Pawlikowski
Great for anyone into self development
Absolutely! I think you need to listen more than once as there is so much "work" to do with each chapter, internal reflection. Loved all the examples the author brought into the story telling.
That parental abuse comes in many forms. I'd typically thought of abuse as physical, sexual or of neglectful parent ... hadn't really thought of critical, rejecting or emotional absentee parent would fall in that category.
At times I found hard to listen to as it brought up feelings I hadn't realized I'd been harbouring. But by the end of the book I felt I had my eyes opened and look forward to working on the exercises the author has at the end of each chapter.