• Fear and Other Uninvited Guests

  • Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keeps Us from Optimal Living
  • By: Harriet Lerner, Ph.D
  • Narrated by: Harriet Lerner
  • Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
  • Abridged
  • Release date: 06-23-04
  • Language: English
  • Publisher: HarperAudio
  • 4.1 (78 ratings)

Regular price: $15.96

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Editorial Reviews

The writer of many useful mental health guides says that anxiety, fear, and shame can paralyze us if we don't understand these feelings. But we can become unparalyzed by being proactive, speaking up, thinking positively, and being alert to negative feelings about the self that impose limitations and inhibit healthy interpersonal behavior. Negative emotions can be used to clarify our experiences and promote self-understanding. The key is not being on the defensive and developing more productive and self-affirming emotional patterns. Few guides to emotional functioning have the depth of understanding offered by this therapist, who seems as knowledgeable about the workings of the psyche as she is about formulating real-world coping strategies.
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Publisher's Summary

Unhappiness, says best-selling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hit, they may become our constant companions.
With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear-lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn:


How to have the courage to speak, act, and show up when we are anxious and afraid
How to deal with the fear of not being good enough and the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate
How to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace
How to manage fear and despair when things fall apart
How "positive thinking" helps and harms
How to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified
No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we can't avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.
©2004 Harriet Lerner; (P)2004 HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.
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Critic Reviews

"Conversational and often witty." (Publishers Weekly)
"Superb insights." (Library Journal)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

By Brenda on 01-30-06

Very informative and helpful

Once you get past the sometimes monotonous tone of the author, this book is very helpful. I have read a number of books on anxiety but this one tackles all the issues. She discusses shame, fear, depression, anxiety, and phobias, as well as other conditions and how they all relate.

She takes a somewhat mediation approach to her psychology. That is, being aware of what you are thinking and using this knowledge to move on productively. This approach to me is the best because it forces you to be real and actually deal with you emotions instead of finding ways to distract yourself from them. Her speech is also very real and as a listener you feel connected to her. Some books feel clinical, but not this one.

If you are serious about healing your mind, this is the book to get. It offers concrete advice and is filled with humorous and personal stories. She doesn't just ask you to expose your weakenesses, she invites you to listen to hers as well. So get past her monotone voice and understand the message.

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9 of 9 people found this review helpful


By Marty on 12-27-07

very insightful and realistic

This book is excellent in many respects but first a comment about the author's delivery, which other reviewers have made into the issue about this book. It's true. The delivery takes some getting used to. Also, the book starts out a bit slow. It takes time to get to the parts that are actually useful. But, it does provides some very deep insights, in relatively simple terms and what I prize most about her account is that she's realistic and also self-deprecating. If you are looking for ways to understand anxiety and fear and other mind states that can be quite debilitating, this is an excellent resource and the author's perspective provides a sense of understanding that in and of itself can be healing. Excellent book, warts and all.

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4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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