[Contains mature themes] Free for a limited time. He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. Esther guides them towards a more honest conversation, and a revelation about their communication.
Step into the office of renowned relationship therapist and TED Talk sensation Esther Perel, and listen in as she counsels couples in crisis due to infidelity, sexlessness, loss, and disconnection. The result? Astonishing insights on how they can make love work – and takeaways for you on ways to repair and restore your own relationships. This weekly, 10-part premium podcast is available for free through mid-July.
Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and provocative voices on personal and professional relationships. A celebrated psychotherapist who has helmed a private practice in New York City since 1983, she has over three decades of experience navigating the intricacies of love and desire.
A Note from Esther:
Too often couples live like isolated islands. We think what we’re experiencing in our own relationship is unique to us, and we don’t know that our neighbors and friends are experiencing the same longings, laments, deprivations, and disillusionments in their own lives.
There is no school for relationships, no place for us to learn the tools for rebuilding and repair, to learn to straddle the many contradictions that roil in all of us. Where Should We Begin? Is a way for me to create meaningful, deep, and open conversations. As you listen to these intimate, unscripted sessions between real-life couples, I think you will find the language you’ve been looking for to have conversations with the people in your own life.
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Response to the bitter comments...
I have to be honest, many of the comments on here are really frustrating. These are two people who wish to repair their marriage. They aren't there to play a game of who gets the blame. The counselor is not there to tell either party that they did something wrong in the past, she is there to help them be able to communicate honestly and to help them each be receptive to that honesty. When the husband tells how he was feeling, the wife constantly wants to argue against that as if his feeling aren't valid. The point the counselor is making is that he had those feelings and they were real. She isn't telling the woman that she was at fault nor is she taking "the husband's side", she is simply saying that the wife needs to listen without immediate judgement. The wife if very defensive and that is totally understandable, but the counselor's job is to help her be less defensive so that they can communicate openly and in a safe place. If the wife never truly forgives her husband than they will never move past their problems. Once she is able to forgive and let her guard down, then they can work on building something worth saving. BOTH PARTIES in this episode were responsible for not communicating, despite that the man did something completely stupid as a result of it. The counselor has to fix the communication problem first!
As a side note about her being like a dead person: sometimes feelings aren't kind or pleasant and sometimes they are downright rude and inappropriate. But, it seems like many of the listeners wanted the counselor to scold him for that comment. Although maybe not pleasant, he was trying to convey that he didn't want it to be another chore for her. That is a big problem in many relationships, he should have said it a LONG time ago rather than cheating. Then, she could have said how she felt, etc. Relationships take work and HONESTY.
I am 32 years old and I have been with my husband for 12 years. I can tell you that the biggest reason why we work is because we are honest despite how that honesty will make the other feel at that moment. I love that we have that because, if we didn't, who knows where we would be. We definitely aren't perfect people, but our willingness to communicate when something doesn't feel right makes us happy in our relationship 99% of the time. We both feel heard and we both make an effort to make adjustments when we need to. If you don't grow together you will grow apart and that is what happened with these two people, but they can recover it if the learn how to.