• Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

  • What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
  • By: Amy E. Baker PhD, Paul R. Fine
  • Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
  • Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
  • 4.4 out of 5 stars (331 ratings)

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Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

By: Amy E. Baker PhD, Paul R. Fine
Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
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Publisher's summary

There's no question about it: your children are the most important thing in your life. But if you have gone through a messy divorce, your relationship with your children may become strained if you have to deal with a toxic ex. Your ex may bad-mouth you in front of the kids, accuse you of being a bad parent, and even attempt to replace you in the children's lives with a new partner. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed - and you may feel powerless.

In Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of co-parenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome", and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters an open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse.

©2014 Amy J. L. Baker and Paul R. Fine (P)2016 Tantor

Critic reviews

"Genuinely helpful, this guide tackles a sensitive problem and shows how to diffuse it with accepted and proven psychotherapeutic practices." ( Publishers Weekly)

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Not Helpful For Me

This may be a good book for people who have started raising kids together. My ex and I split before our son was born and have differences based on his controlling and verbally abusive behavior. This book seems to focus on the basic struggles of any kind of conflict between exes. It is really more for coping with any kind of contentious divorce. Not for clinical level toxicity or genuine abuse.

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39 people found this helpful

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Good overall advice - some info outdated

I like the overall message that you should be present for your child and focus on them.
There are some good overall tools in skills for dealing with situations covered in this book.
It does however come from an assumption that this is something to be lived with rather than changed.
The author seems to rely on the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) model which is surrounded in controversy. I would encourage anyone Learning about this to check out attachment based parental alienation (AB –PA) and get involved with changing this dynamic. When we focus on this as one parent and one child — it may seem insurmountable. But the truth is, there are many people dealing with this. When we band together we become a force much stronger than any individual ever could be.

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29 people found this helpful

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Not for high conflict cases

This book might be great if you arent coparenting with a highly toxic lying parent. Its too weak. A good parent protects a child not encourages abuse from the other. One good parent is better than 2 if the other damages the child emotionally, physically or sexually. Something family court needs to learn

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12 people found this helpful

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Wow!

This book was spot on with my life the last 6 years since my divorce, I had NO idea I was responding the wrong way until I ended up in court on an emergency custody hearing order for things that never ever happened, now I realize the brainwashing was years in making. I'm definitely kicking myself for not getting this book years ago when I knew my ex was telling my kids horrible untrue things about me :-(

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Not for Me

I was disappointed about how negative this book is, and how little it has to offer in the way of pragmatic advice. I personally prefer books with a more enlightened , kind approach to problem solving and interpersonal relationships.

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Both parents are toxic

The title of the book is a bit misleading. The authors assume that both parents are toxic. This book is light on ideas to deal with the toxic parent and heavy on the Eastern mindful/dialectical parenting approach, e.g., strong undertow of moral relativism and absence of absolute truth. The authors suggest a Buddhist prayer.

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AMAZING! EXACTLY ON POINT!

This is the best book if come across that remains unbiased between the male vs female parent. As someone with a VERY difficult ex, I couldn’t be more thankful that I found this book! Immediately after hearing each concept I have been able to identify ways my ex is trying to alienate me. I have even able to more accurately log the info for future court hearings but better yet, counteract the behavior our kids show that is a result of their other parent’s toxic behavior! #DadsMatter

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Not good

This book is inclined towards one parent only! Even the book cover shows a mom and a child and a “heartbroken” father. Seriously? So much misleading information.

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not overly helpful

it doesnt give enough insight on how to avoid conflicts or how to predict what might come up in various situations.

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read if you have divorced a narcissist

unbelievably grateful to have the warning signs and tools. thank you thank you. will read over and over

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