By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.
Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessity—and how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships. .
In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection. .
In listening to this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential. .
"With compassion and clarity, Richard Gartner shares insights from years of working with male survivors. Among this book's greatest strengths is the extensive use of examples from Dr. Gartner's clinical practice to illustrate problems and solutions on the path to healing. Beyond Betrayal offers support, encouragement, and useful skills to men in recovery." (Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping upon the Mountains)
"If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one." (Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook)
"Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned." (Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced)
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A Great Blessing
Yes. Although there is little reference to religion in this book, I could not help but sense the hand of the Divine in it. It seems to perfectly and compassionately convey hard earned knowledge and wisdom, bringing desperately needed understanding on the affects of childhood sexual abuse. This book will greatly bless those who have been victims, as well as friends and family journeying with them. It is a must read.
"The Narcissistic Family" is also a very well written and informative book, though it is written for therapists.
A gifted narrator, Fleet Cooper allows the listener to entirely take in what is being communicated.
I gained an understanding of the common and negative affects of the abuse throughout the victim's life. This understanding allows for the beginning of the breaking of the bonds that have come as a result of the abuse.
I appreciate the gentle approach the author takes--one that is absent of blame.
- T. M. Nichols
Overall a good overview- more info needed on how partners and family are effected when an abused person cannot relate.
- Julie Slyter