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This book has had a more profound and positive impact on my life than anything else I’ve ever read or listened to. Period. I wish I could give it ten stars out of five. If you even suspect you might have an anger management problem, you owe it to yourself to take a listen and at least evaluate your situation.
The first part of this book describes what an anger management problem looks like and how it manifests itself in a person’s life. I always knew I had a bit of a temper. Pretty much everyone in my family did. But when I listened to the first part of this book and realised how closely the author’s descriptions matched my life, I simply felt sick.
I realised I had been ignorant of or effectively downplayed my anger problem all my life. But that’s not surprising. After all, all our boyhood heroes (not to mention family members) all acted that way, so how bad could it be? I also realised that the majority of the dysfunction in my personal and work life appeared to be traceable back to my anger issues.
Fortunately, the next part of the book goes into how to begin to deal with the problem. This involves understanding where the anger comes from. In a nutshell it’s often learned from our families and it’s all based on what amounts to distorted thinking. To get a handle on the problem, one has to begin to see how their thinking is distorted. That’s not as hard as it sounds, but of course it takes real effort to begin to and keep on changing the habits of a lifetime.
The third part of the book deal with specific issues (violence, etc.) that may or may not have relevance to a given reader. The fourth deals with families.
I see now uncontrolled anger is an awful cross to bear. It’s terribly damaging to the angry person, whether they know it or not. As the saying goes, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” And, the fact is, it’s also very, very damaging to the angry person’s family. Bad stuff.
Again, if you even suspect you may have a problem with anger buying this audio book may be the best investment of your life.
18 of 18 people found this review helpful
I used to be an angry man. I would argue with anyone, punch walls, break electronics, scream at my students, grit my teeth and insult my girlfriend. At the end of every day I was sure I was going to lose my job, get dumped and die friendless, penniless and alone.
This book profoundly changed my life.
Mr. Harbin's guide to managing and handling male anger is probably the most useful book I have ever read.
One of the best parts of this book is an early chapter where Harbin outlines exactly what kind of behavior constitutes anger. This was enough for me, as I realized almost the entirely of my conscious thought was devoted to depressing thoughts and instincts.
During the opening chapters Harbin also provides some portraits of angry men, which were really helpful for identifying my own personal traits.
The book includes anger management techniques, a chapter for the partners and spouses of angry men and a solid sociological analysis of why and how men become angry.
Two weeks in and my co-workers and girlfriend have noticed a distinct change in my behavior. Most importantly, I don't leave work angry, bitter and fearful. The net result has been way less stress and more clarity in my life.
This book is great.
8 of 8 people found this review helpful