Prime logo Prime members: New to Audible?
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 30 days. Cancel anytime.
After the Tears  By  cover art

After the Tears

By: Lorie Dwinell, Jane Middleton-Moz
Narrated by: Lucinda Gainey
Try for $0.00

$14.95/month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $17.95

Buy for $17.95

Pay using card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.

Publisher's summary

The trauma and grief of growing up in an alcoholic or addicted family create a lifetime of baggage. If you grew up in an addicted family, the dysfunction that permeated every aspect of your childhood may have seemed "normal", and you may not even realize the level of affect alcohol still has on your adult life - whether or not you drink.

If you are one of the millions of Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs), the cost of your childhood pain can be unbearable. You may have learned how to "survive", but are you "living" your life? Do you fear normal conflict? Do you blame yourself when something goes wrong - even when it isn't your fault? Are you a chaos junkie? Or do you just fear relationships because they are too difficult or too painful?

Having devoted much of their careers to working with ACOAs, therapists Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell now take a deeper look into the origin and cost of childhood pain, as well as the grief resolution process that is integral to recovery. This revised and expanded edition of their groundbreaking 1986 hit After the Tears discusses the latest research and offers insights on living a good life despite a dysfunctional childhood by tackling issues such as intimacy, sibling relationships, codependency, breaking the alcoholic pattern, building a relationship with the inner child, forgiveness, and opening a window to spirituality.

©1986, 2010 Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell (P)2013 Audible, Inc.

More from the same

What listeners say about After the Tears

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    125
  • 4 Stars
    29
  • 3 Stars
    7
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    3
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    95
  • 4 Stars
    30
  • 3 Stars
    8
  • 2 Stars
    3
  • 1 Stars
    2
Story
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    107
  • 4 Stars
    22
  • 3 Stars
    8
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    2

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Very Helpful

This book is like going to fortune teller. It tells you the very personal details of your own life. It's amazing how much we ACOAs have in common.

This book was incredible in helping me to work through my depression, helping me to let go of all of my childhood secrets and know that I can own them and own my story. And tell it to help others.

I Highly recommend this book if you have an alcoholic in your life. <3

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Pain and Longing

I am 63 years old and just beginning to take steps toward admitting I need healing. For me this book touched on many areas that I could realistically relate to. while it includes material which does not apply to me it touches on many realistic events of life that are experienced by children with an alcoholic parent.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

7 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

A cornerstone

Excellent analysis! This is a must read for adult children of alcoholics. The information provided definitely helped me in my grieving process.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic Resource

This book gets a bit more specific than the ACA Big Red Book, which I also highly recommend. I bought the hard copy too, so I can review, study and highlight. Packed with useful tools and information. Validating and sometimes painful to listen to, but next level in its value.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Very Insightful

This book was everything I needed in my life. Being an adult child of an alcoholic, I have seen how my childhood and growing up has effected my ability to build and maintain relationships with friends and romantic partners. I read this book because I struggle in my relationship with my alcoholic parent, knowing how to communicate effectively with them and others. This book made me feel like I was not alone and also gave me insights on how my siblings and I differ in our coping mechanisms from our childhoods. Definitely worth the read if you grew up in an alcoholic home or you know someone who did.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Great book!

Thorough, understandable, easy to listen to. She discusses the trauma, how it affects survivors, and how to move forward in good detail with helpful examples. This book could be helpful for anyone new to recovery from trauma or someone who's already been on a journey for awhile.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Enlightening topic

I found the book to be very enlightening when talking about ACOA problems and the life issues many of us go through. I now have a better understanding of some of my own issues and reactions to situations, which will help me improve on my life stability.

Thanks

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars
  • LY
  • 08-21-16

Everyone is messed up

This book is for those who wish to dive into the depths of despair, and stay in there or therapy the rest of their lives. By its opening definition (adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional parents), it is for all but the .5% of the human race whose parents were/are walking saints, and tries to sell you on the idea of accepting that you're really messed up. I wouldn't recommend it if you want to actually heal.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Disjointed in audible format but good

Disjointed in audible format but good. The narration lacked any distinction when paragraphs or a tabular format was discussed. Still overall it was enlightening

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent Book

thank you for writing this book it helped me to understand this disease more. I started to go to some meeting Alcoa meetings in the Boston area. Moved to Tennessee and can't find any. I really know this program is thee program for better recovery. Thanks to AA Alton and Codependency I celebrated 36 years of recovery.

Thanks again for this book
Hazel Chapman

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

1 person found this helpful