8 Keys to Eliminating Passive-Agressiveness

  • by Andrea Brandt
  • Narrated by Jessica Geffen
  • 7 hrs and 24 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

This audiobook offers guidance for dealing with this common and frustrating form of behavior. Many people often say "yes" to something when they'd rather say "no." They offer cooperation through words but follow up with how they really feel - in actions that contradict their words. That's passive-aggression. At its heart, passive-aggression is about being untrue to oneself, which makes it impossible to have a clean relationship with others. Passive-aggression as a communication method doesn't make someone "bad." It is simply a strategy learned in childhood as a coping mechanism, a hard-to-break habit. Changing passive-aggressive behavior requires knowledge, tools, and practice, as outlined here.
This audiobook offers effective methods for transforming passive-aggression into healthy assertiveness to communicate in constructive ways through eight keys:

Recognize Your Hidden Anger
Reconnect Your Emotions to Your Thoughts
Listen to Your Body
Set Healthy Boundaries
Communicate Assertively
Interact Using Mindfulness
Disable the Enabler
Problem-Solve for Better Outcomes

Exercises are featured, which enable listeners to better understand themselves.


What the Critics Say

"A clear and practical guide to tackling the enormously frustrating problem of passive-aggressive behavior, an issue that plagues both personal and business relationships. The 8 keys are powerful tools designed to end the reflexive suppression of anger, which later shows up as an infuriating 'Huh? Me? What did I do?' Dr. Brandt has done a masterful job providing strategies for dealing with the malignant passive-aggressive behaviors that secretly lie at the root of entrenched, perpetual problems. I wholeheartedly recommend this guide." (Diana Shulman, JD, PhD, Certified Gottman Couples Therapist, Los Angeles, CA)


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

This was a very important book for me

I bought this book in a moment of desperate humility. My marriage was in deep trouble and one of the faults that was driving us onto the rocks was my passive aggressive behavior. This book was the first step in what is proving to be a long journey. This book isn't perfect, how could it be? It's a short, self help piece and can't cover all the issues or speak to the deeply personal issues of an individual, but it can act as a starting point.

I took it to my therapist to make sure it wasn't crap, possibly harmful. We used it as a framework to work from. It was very helpful.

I give it four stars, not five, because I had trouble with an aspect of the text undermining my self respect, a lack of which is one of my fundamental problems. If you are engaging in passive-agressive behavior you are being a terrible person, but, you're acting this way to try to protect yourself. While this idea is present I don't think it was emphasized enough, The most important step for me was not accepting that I was treating people badly, but recognizing that I was angry, frustrated and scared and didn't know how to function in ways to help myself. Realizing I was treating people badly was important, but coming to a kind and nonjudgmental understanding of why I was acting in this manner was the first action I had to take.

I can't overemphasize the importance of mindfulness work. Start with this book, but keep looking for a way of meditating that works for you. This text started me, but doesn't go into mindfulness practice in a deep, sophisticated way. There are some other very good titles here at Audible.

I'm still a long way from perfect, I can still be a real bastard, but I'm much better.
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- Joshua


I need to get the hard copy so that I can highlight stuff! I found both my husband and my in thus book.
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- Amazon Customer

Book Details

  • Release Date: 10-21-2013
  • Publisher: Gildan Media, LLC