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I bought this book in a moment of desperate humility. My marriage was in deep trouble and one of the faults that was driving us onto the rocks was my passive aggressive behavior. This book was the first step in what is proving to be a long journey. This book isn't perfect, how could it be? It's a short, self help piece and can't cover all the issues or speak to the deeply personal issues of an individual, but it can act as a starting point.
I took it to my therapist to make sure it wasn't crap, possibly harmful. We used it as a framework to work from. It was very helpful.
I give it four stars, not five, because I had trouble with an aspect of the text undermining my self respect, a lack of which is one of my fundamental problems. If you are engaging in passive-agressive behavior you are being a terrible person, but, you're acting this way to try to protect yourself. While this idea is present I don't think it was emphasized enough, The most important step for me was not accepting that I was treating people badly, but recognizing that I was angry, frustrated and scared and didn't know how to function in ways to help myself. Realizing I was treating people badly was important, but coming to a kind and nonjudgmental understanding of why I was acting in this manner was the first action I had to take.
I can't overemphasize the importance of mindfulness work. Start with this book, but keep looking for a way of meditating that works for you. This text started me, but doesn't go into mindfulness practice in a deep, sophisticated way. There are some other very good titles here at Audible.
I'm still a long way from perfect, I can still be a real bastard, but I'm much better.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
I need to get the hard copy so that I can highlight stuff! I found both my husband and my in thus book.
I've discovered that I am both passive-aggressive AND and enabler to my P-A husband - this book has been a real eye-opener for me!
I have completed any of the written tasks but have found that listening to this and adjusting my behaviour and responses have improved my relationship very quickly.
Highly recommended read/listen.