Many of us try to learn how to communicate throughout our lives with other individuals. We think that once we learn communication skills, we are set to talk to anyone. This belief is one that is quickly thrown by the wayside once we meet a narcissist whom we want or need to communicate with. His thought patterns and speech may be much different from anything we've ever encountered before. Before we know it, we have upset the narcissist and have gotten on his bad side, which is a very bad place to be.
In book one we detailed the different emotional places that the borderline and her narcissistic lover might come from during their development and in response to their relationships with their caregivers. As children, when we experience the overprotective helicopter parent who idealizes us far too much, the parent who can never accept the child's individuality and asks perfection of him, or the cold and emotionally invalidating parent(s) that tell us "boys don't cry", it disrupts our emotional development during the first 18 years, causing things like narcissism, borderline personality disorder, OCPD, avoidant personality disorder, antisocial personality or conduct disorders, or schizoid personality disorder.
First, I want to give a little back information on the borderline-narcissist relationship duo for those who are new to my series and refresh those who have tuned in to my other related books. The relationship duo between borderlines and narcissists tends to be more common than we think. There is no true way to get a good picture of how many relationships span this dynamic, as many borderlines and narcissists go undiagnosed or undetected. Most narcissists don't have the intuition, knowledge of their condition, or interest in their inner world to pursue why they are the way they are. It is unlikely that they would seek treatment because of their overinflated egos...
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A lot of good tools and information.
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- Jennifer Smith