The difficulties experienced by adult children of narcissists can manifest themselves in many ways - for example, physical self-loathing that takes the form of overeating, anorexia, or bulimia; a self-destructive streak that causes poor job performance and rocky personal relationships; or a struggle with the self that is perpetuated in the adult's interaction with his or her own children. These dilemmas are both common and correctable, Elan Golomb tells us.
With an empathic blend of scholarship and case studies, along with her own personal narrative of her fight for self, Dr. Golomb plumbs the depths of this problem, revealing its mysterious hold on the affairs of otherwise bright, aware, motivated, and worthy people.
Trapped in the Mirror explores:
The nature of the paralysis and lack of motivation so many adults feel
Stress and its role in exacerbating childhood wrongs
Why so many of our relationships seem to be reruns of the past
How anger must be acknowledged to be overcome
And, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed
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Am I trapped?
I have read many books related to emotional abuse and BPD lately, and I was actually quite excited to learn more about NPD. It may be that this book either wasn't relevant to my situation or, perhaps, it's too relevant and thus I was blinded. I found most of it to be a long whine and condemnation without regard to the cause of the NPD parent. Terms relating to narcissism are thrown out as denigrations left and right without any real exploration as to the cause - beyond essentially stating that "their parents were awful narcissists too!" The case studies were similarly boring and whiney, not to mention overlong. The author's explaining away of lesbianism at one point I found particularly off putting as if the book were written in the 19th century. All in all, I found the book unhelpful and not particularly informative, although I understand I'm in the minority
I certainly would give her other works a chance. She is erudite to say the least.
Maybe it's just me, but the performance was one of the worst I've heard. It was completely unpalatable and absolutely added to the abrasiveness of the text, and, in the end, made me feel like I was being scolded for the entire presentation. The nervous mannerisms and cadence led me to believe that the narrator was far from a professional in the field. More practice and a conversational tone would certainly have improved the performance.
I would have trimmed all the case studies to the relevant points without all the derogatory accusations. I would have cut the section on lesbianism. I understand that perhaps in some cases it can be a reaction as described, but I thought she painted those portions with far too broad a brush - essentially saying "Lesbianism is usually a reaction to this bad thing or that bad thing."
I'm concerned that this book came highly recommended and I found it not helpful, informative or interesting. It makes me wonder if I would have gotten more from it by reading it in print.
- D. Villalpando