The Sociopath Next Door

By: Martha Stout

Narrated by: Shelly Frasier

Length: 7 hrs and 26 mins

Publisher's summary

We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people, one in 25, has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in 25 everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt.

How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They're more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others' suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.

The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know, someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for, is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.

It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

©2005 Martha Stout (P)2005 Tantor Media, Inc.

Critic reviews

"Stout is a good writer and her exploration of sociopaths can be arresting." (Publishers Weekly)
"A remarkable philosophical examination of the phenomenon of sociopathy and its everyday manifestations....Stout's portraits make a striking impact and readers with unpleasant neighbors or colleagues may find themselves paying close attention to her sociopathic-behavior checklist and suggested coping strategies. Deeply thought-provoking and unexpectedly lyrical." (Kirkus)

A Must Read

You simply need to understand and know how to deal with this personality type. Or else, you will most certainly be hurt, used or frustrated by them. I was recommended this book by a psychologist friend of mine. I thank him every time I see him for recommending it. As I said, a must read!

Absolutely Fascinating!

Based on science, but told in an anecdotal style. I could hardly stop listening.

Facinating at Times

I found this book to be facinating at times, while clinical at others. Since I am in the mental health field I found it interesting, but a bit one-sided. I guess I have more compassion for these ill members of society, perhaps our friends and family members. I do keep my antennae up for signs to be aware of, and know how to keep my boundaries intact, maybe that is the true lesson here, but I think the author would prefer that we run for our lives. A good set of boundary keeping should suffice in these situations. I did give the book 4 stars, as I thought it to be above average and in an area of interest to me. The vignettes were good too, although sometimes incomplete. I don't necessarily agree with her that "conscience" and for her "lack of the ability to love" which she frames as one in the same, is the only factor for sociopathy, but she does argue a good point, and makes the reader well aware of characteristics that one may not generally see as part of a sociopath's personality, ie. charisma. The narrator was excellent and made some of the clinical parts more easily digestible.

Am I A Sociopath?

A true 'page turner' from the first sentence. As I listened not only did I examine and re-examine many of the individuals who have past through my journey of life but I really did have reason to stop and re listen to sections that kind of reminded me of.......me. Don't get me wrong, I am not at all malicious but in business I do tend to think of people as chess pieces. All positioned up until, I get the outcome that I require for success for my company and subsequently my self......check mate. A little disconcerting to say the least.

Martha Strout explains the 'sociopath' is good old fashioned plain english and backs it up with examples and scenarios.

Not too 'heady'. A great listen with an enjoyable performance by Shelly Frasier.

Interesting, but more designed for professionals

Very clinical book, but still interesting to the layperson, especially for folks such as myself who enjoy crime-related books and TV programming. Gives a realistic insight into sociopaths.

The book is a little disjointed at times and could have been organized better, but perhaps that is just the way it appeared to me due to the difficult subject matter.

thought provoking!!

This book caused me to think everyone I know might be a sociopath which isnt really a bad thing is it?

revealing and inspirational I was left with hope.

I enjoyed this narrator. this book gives food for thought that can be applied to every day life.

Of limited interest

The premise is worth considering. That its presentation was so reliant on anecdote and much of the discussion seemed superficial made it less than compelling.

Manipulative, self-serving individuals are often problematic, and it seems that such conduct is sometimes motivated by a weak conscience plus adverse circumstances, sometimes by the absence of conscience which is the focus of this book. Can a layperson really distinguish between the two? Whether the distinction would be relevant seems largely circumstantial. However, opportunities to help weak individuals reclaim some dignity might well be lost if the label "sociopath" is too broadly applied.

The narrator of this audiobook read clearly and expressively, but the reading was marred by mispronunciation of several words and Thich Nhat Hanh's name.

Useful, Especially if You Know a Sociopath

This book is a useful and interesting dive into what makes the 4% of humans with no conscience tick. Martha Stout is refreshingly gimlet-eyed over sociopaths, not sympathetic towards them, and focuses the book on how normal people of conscience can protect themselves from these people. She also includes some interesting perspectives about what in American culture might empower sociopaths where they could be muted in some non-Western cultures. Interesting and not overly long. Competent narrator.

Real

Yes, I loved this book! Having experienced psychopaths in my personal life as well as in my clinical practice, and having experienced the raw end of the selective empathy stick, I understood what Stout said completely. I especially value the chapter with advice on what to do. Stout's advice helps my resolve to protect myself and loved ones. Frazier's narration was calming, matter of fact, and perfect for this harsh topic. I listened to the book nonstop and will do so again perhaps a year from now.