The Object of My Affection is My Reflection

  • by Rokelle Lerner
  • Narrated by Lucinda Gainey
  • 7 hrs and 39 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

How to manage the narcissistic people in your life
Does your boss constantly blame you for things you didn't do? Do you isolate yourself from friends and family to avoid conflict at home? Do you feel anxious when you see a certain "friend's" name on your cell phone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you most likely have a narcissist in your life. The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection will help you understand the complexities of this disorder and arm you with the coping mechanisms to navigate through this type of relationship.
Narcissists suffer from a personality disorder that began in the early stages of childhood. They are stuck in an early development stage where there is tremendous self-interest, excessive self-absorption, and extreme entitlement. Their behavior is a consequence of early childhood abandonment and abuse.
Rokelle Lerner specializes in working with narcissists and the people they impact. Her astounding results in improving the quality of life for those that live or work with narcissists has been recognized by therapists across the country. She explains why narcissists do the things they do and how you can protect yourself from their intimidation and manipulations. Lerner shows you how to:


Spot a narcissist at work and in your personal life
Set appropriate boundaries to avoid further conflict
Avoid antagonizing a narcissist at work or at home
Narcissists are disarming, manipulative, and mesmerizing by nature. The Object of My Affection is in My Reflection will help you see through their charm so you can recharge your spirit, redefine your purpose, and regain your life.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Best Book Out There on Narcissism Bar None

Would you listen to The Object of My Affection is My Reflection again? Why?

Yes!!! There is so much helpful information in this book that I know I won't take it all in the first, second, or even third time. This book should be considered the "bible" for coping with a narcissist.


What does Lucinda Gainey bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

Lucinda's performance was excellent.


Any additional comments?

I have read many of the books on narcissists available on the market. This one gives the absolute BEST information on the origins of the disorder. Understanding the origins helps me to have more empathy for the narcissist in my life. He suffered unspeakable horror as a child. Then Rokelle gives the very best advice available on how to deal with a narcissist co-worker, boss, or spouse. Lastly, she gives good guidance in the form of a questionnaire to help one decide whether to extricate one's self from a relationship with a narcissist. This is EXTREMELY valuable. Lastly, Rokelle talks the reader "off the ledge" if you are thinking of leaving your narcissist and are just plain afraid of the future. With amazing kindness and sensitiity, she helps us to see that, yes indeed, we can get through the process of leaving and changing. In my opinion, this is the one and only book on this subject you need....and I have read quite a few of the others. I wish all of you out there struggling with a narcissist peace and happiness.

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- Beth

Important information for all.

This is, for me, a hard book to review. The material is, as far as I can tell, presented in a very complete and (mostly) understandable manner. It deals with a very serious topic that everyone should have some familiarity with since pretty much everyone will, to some degree, have their lives affected by narcissists in greater and lesser degrees. So five out of five on that score.

That said, I found the material disturbing. It forced me to reassess my behaviour and the behaviour of others around me in a fundamental way. I can’t say I liked everything that reassessment turned up. Still, it is very valuable information. It’s far better to have knowledge you –even if you don’t like it—than to putter along in ignorance. Only one or two other books I’ve ever read had that sort of impact on me. In that sense, this book probably deserves six out of five stars.

I highly recommend this book. Be warned there is a chance you could find some of the material troubling, though.
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- Nothing really matters "Rob Thomas"

Book Details

  • Release Date: 03-25-2013
  • Publisher: Audible Studios