Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself | Summary Book
Melody Beattie's self-help book, Codependent No More, explains the characteristics of codependency and how people can work to overcome it. This book was published in 1986 and was written at a time when codependency was not fully recognized by the medical community and mental health organizations.
Codependency can be defined as emotional or psychological dependence on another person. A codependent person who is in a relationship with an addict can develop many defensive behaviors as they try to control that person and whatever issues arise as a result of the relationship. This person can be a spouse, friend, or family member.
Unfortunately, this often can result in the codependent person becoming so hyper-focused on the addicted person that they lose control of their own life. Therefore, although it may not seem to be the case, it is not the chemically dependent partner who needs healing from the pain of addiction, but the codependent person who needs healing. The codependent partner is in just as much pain and needs just as much healing from their own addiction: the addiction of trying to control the chemically dependent person.
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