It Didn't Start with You

How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle

By: Mark Wolynn

Narrated by: Mark Wolynn

Length: 8 hrs and 16 mins

Publisher's summary

A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field.

Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experiences or in chemical imbalances in our brains - but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited: that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations.

It Didn't Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood.

As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over 20 years. It Didn't Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that, in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2016 Mark Wolynn (P)2016 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

"Mark Wolynn does a masterful job of illuminating the ways in which our ancestors' unresolved suffering, often unknown to us, disables us and binds us painfully to them. He gives us the tools and skills - an approach that combines understanding, imaginative dialogues, and compassionate reconnection - to free and heal ourselves." (James S. Gordon, MD, author of Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey out of Depression)

" It Didn't Start with You takes us a big step forward, advancing the fields of trauma therapy, mindfulness applications, and human understanding. It is a bold, creative, and compassionate work." (Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Happiness)

"This groundbreaking book offers a compelling understanding of inherited trauma and fresh, powerful tools for relieving its suffering. Mark Wolynn is a wise and trustworthy guide on the journey toward healing." (Tara Brach, PhD, author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge)

Too depressing

Interesting topic but very dark and depressing stories. I also found it hard to listen narrator’s dramatic reading style.

it works.

if you feel the weight of past generations or even wonder why you can't shake this no matter how hard you work....read this. the PDF is incredible

A personal therapy session with Mark Wolynn

I had the pleasure of attending Mark Wolynn's book signing at The Open Center, NYC. His story and technique were demonstrated to the audience, and I was hooked. I attended his 6 hr workshop the very next day at Open Center. I also downloaded this book after the book signing and have integrated many of his techniques described and have made huge strides with recognizes patterns and trends occurring in my life, helping me feel more at peace with myself. His voice is mesmerizing, his story compelling, and the impact of this combinstion is what you allow it to be.

Truly inspiring!

This book is truly inspiring! It really opened my eyes to what has been holding me back for years and helped me start leaving those feelings with those they started with. If you are feeling lost in your life, please read this. I want to share it with everyone because of how much it helped me. Well done Mark!

This has helped

Some of the information was hard to believe but I can see a big difference in my thoughts towards my parents

insights abound

I love this book, the content was so needed in healing ancestral trauma. The narrator was great, I really understood the material. it sunk into my bones. The insights he provided with the examples of ancestral trauma were powerful. In providing such examples, I was allowed to have insights of my own very easily. It was through this audiobook that I found out that my mother and I both had similar drowning experiences when we were both around the same age. That is why we both fear water. But with the way this book is presented, I uncovered even deeper fears. This is the event where I feel like my greatest fear is in dying alone. No one was there to help me, so I fear that everyone will leave and I will die alone. Just incredible insights for a person to have and I'm thankful for it. I don't think I would have ever have gotten such insights without this book. Highly recommend this book to heal ancestral trauma and identify any fears that you have. Incredible resource.
I will say though that I don't know my father, so it was a little triggering when hearing about traumas involving the father. Just being upset that I don't know what all happened on that side, and feeling like I can't heal it. The author does say you don't need to know these people in order to heal, but with all the examples provided of why people feel the way they do and why they struggle, it makes it hard. Like I would like to know why I fear dying alone, did someone die alone in my family? seems like I will never know. But I have still reached incredible insights thanks to this book, so I would still highly recommend.

Evolution explained

The author touches on who we are and why we are all different. Offered knowledge to many questions... Thank you!

Down to earth trauma book

As a therapist, I greatly appreciate this book because it makes some of the concepts of generational trauma. I have been referring clients to this book!! Love it!

Very informative!

This book sheds light on past traumas. Anyway who is brave enough to take this journey will not regret it.

Great Read

The work sheets really helped me work through my own trauma and my family’s trauma filled past. If you don’t want to put the work in, this book isn’t for you. The author pushes you to dig deeper than you ever have before, so be prepared to dig up uncomfortable feelings and traumas.