Do you ever feel like your husband is an overgrown child? Or a really big teenager that needs to be reminded of everything or he'll forget? He's restless. He's jumpy. He's impatient, impulsive, and chronically late! He simply refuses to get organized and puts off everything - and I mean everything - until the last minute.
Is this the guy you married? What the heck happened to him? Was he always this way? Or is it all in your head? More importantly, is there anything you can do to fix it, or do you have to suffer with his atrocious habits for the rest of your life?
It's difficult enough managing your career, the house, and the kids. Who has time to micromanage their husband's life? If you are the wife of a man with ADD/ADHD this may have struck a painful chord, and for good reason. Beyond the daily difficulties of being on the receiving end of ADD/ADHD, your plight is often ignored by therapists and other professionals. Yes, many books and articles have been written describing the challenges of people with ADD/ADHD, but few focus on those who suffer the most from this condition - namely, their partners. This book is an attempt to do just that: to offer solid education and practical tips to help you deal with the daily frustrations of living with someone who has ADD/ADHD.
This book is a helpful guide for women who think their husbands might have ADD/ADHD. Or for women whose husbands have already been diagnosed. George Sachs, PsyD, and Timothy Norman, LCSW, offer advice for wives to help their husbands live a successful life with adult ADD/ADHD. Learn ways to support his growth without enabling him or exhausting yourself.
Dr. Sachs is a licensed child and adult psychologist, specializing in the treatment of ADD/ADHD in children, teens, and adults. He is founder of the Sachs Center on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, serving individuals and families looking for answers to ADD/ADHD.
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Comes across as sexist and contradictory...
The reader was fine. He was not the reason I gave it one star.
The book essentially tells the wife to bend over backwards to help her husband, not get frustrated with him, not let him know she's helping him for fear of him feeling he's being treated like a child, all while taking on a lion share of the household and bread-winning duties because, well, she shouldn't have any expectation that he follow through with anything and expectations of partnership might upset or bruise his fragile ego. Both my husband and I have ADD. Mine is more well managed as I've known longer (since my early 20's, him since his early 30's) and I have just developed more coping skills with the extra time. This book assumes the wife is an organizational wiz, and is just in the marriage to help her husband without any expectation of reciprocation. It also assumes that the man can't handle much by way of confronting and dealing with his ADD/ADHD, which I also find offensive and would think any man would too. I'm left dumbfounded that people liked this book so much.
To make this enjoyable, the author could lay out the impacts of undiagnosed and diagnosed ADD/ADHD in men, while still holding out a consistent expectation that men learn ways to cope and cooperate within a marriage. Give both genders a little more credit for individual responsibility.
- R. Colwell