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first edition draft, author does not approve of this edition. Good but needs a bit of work.
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What would have made Where Loyalties Lie better?
Minimize or dispense with pervasive foul language and crass sexual references and descriptions. We all know pirate life is supposed to be raw and earthy, but we don't need it described in detail. Why ruin a perfectly good voyage on a compelling story by subjecting your passengers to a deluge of unpleasant bilge water that does not enhance the journey in any way?
What was one of the most memorable moments of Where Loyalties Lie?
The conflict is unveiled in the first pages, but I liked the way that the back story was unveiled in bits by learning about the significant array of interesting characters involved in the foreground action. You always wanted to know more about those stores - like not being able to peek around a corner.
Did the narration match the pace of the story?
The narration was satisfactory.
If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Where Loyalties Lie?
I think I've already covered that.
Any additional comments?
As the first book in a series the story does a good job of holding your interest while giving enough of a peek into the back stories to leave you wanting more. That said, I will not subject myself to the disappointment of another good store ruined by "realism"
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