Apocalycious

Satire of the Dead

By: K. R. Helms

Narrated by: Jay Wohlert

Length: 15 hrs and 12 mins

Publisher's summary

When the dead rose, they rose with a disturbing eating disorder and a weakness for peer pressure that the inhabitants of Earth were completely unprepared for. The Apocalypse just got a whole lot weirder and thank God for it. Breaking the mold of one-dimensional zombie novels, K.R. Helms blends elements of horror, science fiction, dark humor and conspiracy theories in this satirical look at post-apocalyptic survival- all the while satisfying the die-hard purists that live for blood and brutality. We all taste like chicken when the taste buds have rotted from the tongue. We are all Apocalycious. K.R. Helms is a freelance writer whose work has been featured in over a dozen publications and is an underpaid dock worker that resides in rural Ohio with his wife, daughter and transgendered cat.

©2013 K.R. Helms (P)2013 K.R. Helms

There are some parts that I am confused about

Readers are given humor, irony, exaggeration and ridicule exposing the stupidity or faults of each character. Including a list of characters that are many and varied including a king/knight from another dimension, Anubis, a Lycan, big-foot, military, government, criminals, feminists, evil plastic surgery doctor who provides a wrestling midget with double D enhanced breasts, monks, alien space ships, zombies and the list goes on. Each plays a pivotal role in this audio making each person’s journey just a tad bit harder and more meaningful.

Helms has taken several genres and combined them successfully into one satire. I’m not sure why it took me so long to come to terms with the layout of the book. I would assume it was because I’ve never experienced anything like this. So at first, it escaped me that it was not just a zombie book.

I had several misconceptions in the beginning. I thought it was a conglomeration of “stories” about different people and how they were surviving or not. This belief was based on the little chapter involving “Crystal Beth” a meth using stripper with children solely for the government check she collected each month until … the vivid detail of the baby eyes, the giggle, the one moment of true mom-baby connection and finally, the brutal slaying of the baby and her brother by zombies … even devoted Walking Dead fans would struggle with this evilness. I almost felt like a polar bear plunger descending into the freezing depths of glacial water.

It was refreshing to read something of this magnitude and watch it come together at the end. There are still some parts that I am confused about but I blame the narrator (which I will share shortly). At the conclusion of the audio, I was glad to see a fairly happy ending for some while others I still wondered about their “happily ever after” ending.

The audio production was good with no issues.

The narrator however was distracting. The narration was fine for the most part until he got to the chapter number and chapter title – it was like nails on a chalk board. It was this that made my listening to the story extremely painful and ten times longer than I should have taken. The drawing out of the words was done in extreme “slow motion” and as if it was being said to someone with a brain injury of grave magnitude. For me this took away from the book. I know the purpose of this extreme slow motion of speaking is to demonstrate the switch of stories and identify the chapter but OMG really? I won’t go into more detail but suffice it to say my teeth hurt from gritting because of his extreme slow motion voice.

I do recommend this book but be forewarned the narrator is a distraction. The storyline and character development is excellent and engrossing.

Audiobook provided for review by the narrator.

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Wow Amazing !!

What an awesome and amazing mythical zombie apocalypse story. It starts a little slow and I almost decided not to listen to the book but get through the first couple chapters you won't be able to stop listening to it . So well-written and what an imagination I don't know what you're smoking when you're writing but keep smoking and write the second book LOL! I really hope there is a second book. The only thing I didn't like is how the narrator announced a chapters that was what almost made me not read the book so please change that for the next book. Other than that his narration was excellent 👍🏾

poor narration is ruining this one for me

Any additional comments?

Jay Wohlert reads the book as if he were unfamiliar with it, in a style that's as wooden as it is awkwardly cadenced. I'm trying to stick with the book long enough to get a feel for the story, but it's so annoyingly read that I may just have to give up.

Could not finish!

I could not finish this book. It wasn't very funny or witty and was too unrelentingly dark for my tastes. The narrator did a fair job but the material was just too horrible. I have listened to dozens of books from Audible and this is only the 2nd that I could not get through.