Size Matters : Handcuffs and Happily Ever Afters

  • by Robyn Peterman
  • Narrated by Amanda Ronconi
  • Series: Handcuffs and Happily Ever Afters
  • 10 hrs and 50 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

A few hard truths: Don't bet on Hasselhoff, Bigfoot might actually exist, and searching for the impossible may lead you to your heart's desire....
It's a big fat hairy deal when I lose yet another bet to my best friend, Rena. Not only do I end up attending Bigfoot meetings with her kooky Aunt Phyllis, I find myself traveling with a band of reality TV, Sasquatch-hunting nut-jobs! Not to mention a suspiciously shady film crew. As if those little nuggets weren't enough to send me on the express train to Crazytown...I stupidly swore off men!
Clearly, all this would mess up any gal's social life, but the worst part of the story? The minute I send my libido on vacation, I meet Mitch. Yep, Mitch, the sexiest cop ev-ah. The hottest, best-kissing, finest tushied single guy I've ever laid eyes on. I'd rather be hot on his trail than anything that involves the word big or foot. But sometimes what you're hunting for has been right in front of you all along....

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What the Critics Say

"For a good time, read Robyn Peterman!" (Michelle Rowen, national best-selling author)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Total fun and laughs!

***excessive swearing, lesbian relationship and body shaming***

I was doubtful that I could enjoy this novel as much as the first. In the first novel, the protagonist was Rena. Here we are on a hilarious ride with Kristy. Kristy and Rena are roommates. The ladies are interchangeable. They are attractive, perky, quirky and are specialist in having men issues.

Kristy lost a bet with Rena. David Hasselhoff is not a popular rock star in France. Now Rena gets to keep the cardboard Brett Favre and Kristy must take Rena’s Aunt Phyllis to her Bigfoot meetings for 30 days.

The characters in the Bigfoot meeting are the most colorful and totally crazy. Edith and Ms. C are evil lesbian twins. They are pushy rude and like to be called lesbo or queers. Aunt Moon-Unit, formerly Aunt Phyllis, is the kookiest person in the group. She changed her name when it came to her in a vision from aliens. Mariah Carey is a 97-pound ball of fury with angry issue. Her go to form of communication is to punch e in the nose or testicles. Boo Carey is Mariah’s sister. She is timid and believes Bigfoot is just looking for love. Rich is an enormous man with an unidentifiable accent, one blue and one green eye and has man boobs. Even though Kristy first impression of Rich was unappealing, they become friends. Kim and Hugh are the leaders. This unlikely group goes for a two-week vacation to record a movie of them finding Bigfoot. Kristy is stuck in the clutches of the group to receive a substantial donation for her shelter.

There is deception and weirdness, which makes it hysterical. The group is in the wilderness looking for Bigfoot pubic hairs on trees and Kristy is cringing and/or gagging. The story includes canine erectile dysfunction caused by Aunt Moon-Unit’s battle to rid her house of the bad chi. The chi are horney little bastards which multiply like bastards.

Of course, Kristy who is loved starved and has a record of bad relationships finds someone. Yet, it is the lie of omission makes her walk away—for now. I laughed so hard I cried. The suspense was such that I couldn't put the book down.

There is lots of talk about Bigfoot’s genital. You must read this for that reason alone.
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- Yvonne

If you enjoy plenty of rough language

I can’t say that I enjoy the rough language, or frequent f-bombs, but the story is fun and I enjoy how it ties in with book #1. I’ll be pausing now from the series because I truly get my fill of cussing and it grates on my nerves. This book is a lot calmer than book 1.
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- Kindle Customer

Book Details

  • Release Date: 08-18-2017
  • Publisher: Audible Studios