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First impressions are everything and were I reading this instead of listening I still might be put off my a multitude of corny instances... but when you get a narrator who sounds like an elf (the Christmas kind) when they read guy voices, it's very off-putting. When vampires sound like they have had a puff or two of helium, it's hard to follow a book and take it seriously.
Now add in the fact that a series of ridiculous instances starts off the book, including a very strong vampire breaking a tooth off in the plastic of a sex toy and a dentist that's afraid of blood, and this amateur attempt of storytelling comes of as a sad attempt of entertainment. I don't mean to be harsh, but with all the vampire novels flooding the market you really have to bring your A game as an author, and having vampires that suck blood rough their teeth like a straw, and then having their teeth be easily breakable, you'd think that they would have a dentist handy. But no, the only dentist is available is a hot young human woman with no connections who happens to be running from the mafia. And the mafia shows up on her dental doorstep right as the vampire does - gasp - and at the sight of blood, she faints! - insert sighing-fainty noise - Of course the vampire, who only two minutes earlier hoped for a guy dentist because he was so horny and could not hold himself back in the presence of a woman, not only falls instantly for this rare woman who can evade his vampy mind-tricks, but he now feels the need to rescue her by stuffing her in the getaway car and making her duck her head in his lap as they make their escape.
Oh and he says "God's Blood" every other sentence.
I really wanted to give this book 1 star but I guess another can go with it for effort since the author seems to have written more in this series. I just felt the need to warn others that this is definitely not worth a credit. Read about Sookie Stackhouse or Jane Jameson instead.
29 of 36 people found this review helpful
There were parts of the book I really enjoyed. But there were three issues that bugged me.
First, while I don't like books that have a bunch of unnecessary or unnaturally used profanity, when it makes sense and sounds natural, then use it. If I had to hear "God's Blood one more time I thought I would hurl my iPhone. Even a "Damn" would not have been amiss.
Next, I kept reading reviews about the book being funny. I didn't see much humor in the plot or the characters. The one obvious humorous reference was the trip to the dentist. And that wasn't cracking me up. Molly Harper does humorous vampires much funnier.
Finally, I didn't like the relationship between the heroine and her father. For some reason, that made me really uncomfortable.
9 of 11 people found this review helpful
Is there anything you would change about this book?
I would skip the many repetitions found throughout the book. I found the idea quite entertaining, but was somewhat bored at the end of the story of the many iterations of explanations, ideas, ...
Would you be willing to try another book from Kerrelyn Sparks? Why or why not?
I thought about listing the sequel, but - even though I liked the book and found it entertaining - I am afraid that it would mainly repeat parts of the first book.
Which scene did you most enjoy?
The book contains some funny parts. I liked the part with the ride in the car at the beginning of the story
Do you think How To Marry a Millionaire Vampire needs a follow-up book? Why or why not?
No follow-up book required
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
This is a fast paced romp, but the narration is so terrible as to be funny - comedy Scottish, Romanian, French and Russian accents abound. The accents are so all persasive and hilarious that it massively distracts from the story, which isn't that great anyway. Having said all that I have listened through to the end which is something but I won't be buying anything else from this series.
2 of 4 people found this review helpful