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Here Be Sexist Vampires  By  cover art

Here Be Sexist Vampires

By: Suzanne Wright
Narrated by: Justine Eyre,P.J. Ochlan
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Publisher's summary

Sam Parker is a vampire with a gift so strong and substantial that she is invited to partake in a test for a place in the Grand High Master Vampire's private army. She finds that not only has the army never included a woman, but it has never included a Svente vampire; a breed that is regarded by the super strong Pagori breed and the hypnotically beautiful Keja breed to be too tame and human-like.

Most refuse to take her seriously, especially a Pagori commander named Jared who she craves in spite of herself. The Grand High Master, however, sees her potential and offers her the position of Jared's co-commander to help train the newest squad in time for the impending attack on his home. Sam has to demonstrate to Jared and the squad of chauvinists why it is incredibly foolish to underestimate a wilful, temperamental, borderline-homicidal Svente female.

©2012 Suzanne Wright (P)2018 Tantor

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Here Be Feminists Who Hate Women

I read this ebook a few months back and liked it well enough but it did not withstand the test of a repeat experience. The Main character, Sam, sets herself up as some great bastion of feminine strength and idealism fighting the vampire patriarchy yet misses no opportunity to disparage the other women in the book. Nary a chapter goes by that she doesn't sneeringly compare herself to the hero's consort. The story had potential, but Sam's attitude toward other women killed it for me.

Justine Eyre's voice work was quite good. However, P.J. Ochlan should stay far, far away from any roles involving a British accent.

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Wright may not fully understand what sexism is

I definitely found this book to be sexist in ways that the author may not have intended. Wright seems to have a very superficial almost juvenile understanding of gender equality. That being said I still enjoyed this book. It could be because I have recently read a slew of plodding dry stories and needed something basic and engaging to get through. Like a healthy eater who occasionally indulges in junk food. Also, I already purchased the sequel.

I do like the world that Suzanne Wright has created. I find the idea of there being different species among the vampires interesting. I enjoy some of the sassiness in the character of Sam and I also like that she is British. But I find her problematic.

The book rightfully takes issues with sexists-- it's in the title, it's mentioned repeatedly in the book, and yet Sam is incredibly sexist in her views of her own gender. She immediately judges all other female characters on only the most superficial aspects. In fact, when it comes to her description of other females it is heaped with body and slut shaming. She dismisses them easily in the same way she is initially dismissed.

The only woman who gets to be fully dimensional in this world is Sam. I do think it is possible to have a romance where other attractive females can be friends instead of rivals. It also could have been interesting to have a female rival who disliked Sam not because of jealousy over a man. It would be interesting to have another smart sassy female for Sam to butt heads with in a way that is interesting or challenged her. Either way, the tired jealousy fighting over a man shit is played out. Why in order to distinguish Sam do all the other women have to be vapid or unintelligent? Here I will admit that I am almost done the book but not completely finished. Maybe there is a surprisingly positive female characterization waiting in the last few chapters I have remaining. I suspect not.

Sam is conventionally attractive and possesses an extraordinary talent. She is able to wow the men so she is able to create a Sam-sized space for herself in this world seemingly sealing it behind herself as she does. Her character is not even willing to try to understand what it might be like for these other women in this male-dominated vampire world as long as there is a space for her.

I both enjoy and take issue with the characterization of her instant best friend Fletcher. I like Fletcher but I feel like we have evolved enough as a society to stop portraying queer men the same way all the time. Queer men were not created to be shopping buddies/ fashion advisors/ comic relief or cheerleaders for straight women. I wish I could bold that sentence. But within minutes of meeting him, that is the role Sam has put Fletcher in.

We get it! There are gay men who love fashion and shopping and effeminate is one of the many many ways a gay man can express himself and there's nothing wrong with that. But come on, like this is so cliche. While Fletcher is her best friend supposedly, she seems to judge him and find his feminine self-expression comical which doesn't seem truly accepting of who he is. We see all the ways that Fletcher is a loving supportive friend to Sam, but what does Sam do for Fletcher? How self-absorbed do you have to be to assume that someone else just lives to shop for you, fetch you things, make you pretty
be your therapist and care deeply about your romantic life..but I digress

Lastly, all the characters are like teenagers. Is this an elite vampire legion we are talking about or a high school football team, hard to tell. Seems like an elite team would probably be more skilled and professional. It also would stand to reason that the vetting and testing for such a role would be a bit more extensive. Also **SPOILER ALERT** It is perfectly reasonable for other vampires who have spent years training and being promoted to be offended that someone random off the street gets promoted to a similar status after one tryout. There is not much in the description of Sams background that in any way indicated that she had the skills to train or lead a legion into battle. It is not sexism that would give her new peers pause. Any sane person would be like 'hey who is this rando? will she get us all killed?"

I like the sexual tension between Sam and Jarod but for the love of god, I hope he grows up more in this series. He is so...basic. Like he's a grown man in charge of the safety of many many people, how is his capacity to reason so stunted? This is the most I have reviewed a book in a while so if obviously impacted me but I'm gonna stop here.

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Worth the Wait!!

I've been waiting for this story to become "Audible" since I first read this story on my Kindle several years ago (and I re-read too). Being American, I had some "editing" issues but the story was really interesting and a new twist on vampire "life." There are more stories with Sam and Jared that are totally worth reading and then waiting for the Audible version. Praise for whoever decided to use a male and female to read Sam's and Jared's parts, IT WAS PERFECT. So, Great Story (get a copy) and enjoy the trip to an island.

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I don't find sexism to particularly a turn on.

In the end, Jared doesn't change. He's still a sexist, and his 'love' for Sam isn't based on respect, but lust. I find his character to be repulsive even, and no self-respecting woman like Sam would ever allow herself to be owned by a sexist butthole like Jared. I found the character development to be very weak and the final battle at the end was rushed. There were a couple more chapters of words that could have been included to really make the world and the characters better, but they were left out. The intimate scenes weren't very exciting, and Jared's disrespect for Sam is highlighted in these scenes. Overall, I thought this book was poirly written and instead of being lost in a romance, I was distracted by all the sexism taking place.

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Male narrator just okay

The female narrator is enjoyable, but the male narrator is a little unemotional, and his attempt at female characters is between meh and painful.
The story was good. Looking forward to continuing with these characters.
This was a little tamer than most Suzanne Wright books, but only a little.
Love the training scenes with the squad. This world of vampires and their gifts leaves plenty of room for world and story building. Eager to see where it goes.

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Beyond 10 stars

I read this years ago, fell in love with the book and then the series! I have since read all of Ms Wright’s books. But this series and this book is a favorite. Beyond thrilled to see the audible version. Can’t wait to see the rest. Please! I have listened to this more than 4 times since I got it and I have not gotten tired of it yet. Narration is excellent. All the right emotions are expressed. Thank you for the audible version. Please do the rest.

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GREAT!!

Suzanne Wright is one of my favorite authors. this book was amazing I definitely have to listen to it again since there so many new characters I'm pretty sure she'll follow each character like the rest of her books so I need to make sure I know who has what powers. I really enjoyed how Susan makes her female characters very strong. Sam and Jared have a very funny relationship definitely foreplay and a lot of bickering. I love that Sammy is a strong female sassy attitude hold her own grounds even though she's hurting inside never shows her weak side. definitely a credit to use I can't wait till the next one!! also narrators did an amazing job

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Great concept, badass heroine, 1 sided male lead

First, Justine Eyre is a wonderful narrator, her voice is lovely and she is able to bring such great dimension to both the male and female characters. The male narrator, P.J. Ochlan, also has a lovely voice and I am sure it sounds wonderful for some of the books he narrates, but it just didn't seem like a match for this one. It probably would have been best to have Justine narrate the entire book herself.
The concept of the book is pretty neat; vampire races with vampiric magical abilities....definitely interesting. The parts of the book that explores this as well as the training of the recruits is also a highlight of the whole novel. Sam as the heroine has her moments of truly being badass. Then comes Jared and the love/lust aspect of the novel. It seems like a very stereotypical dumbed down version of how a TV drama is played out over dramatizing what people may describe as sexist and chauvinistic, to a cringeworthy level. Sam as the female lead is steadfastly against all that Jared stands for, but still finds herself wanting to be with him. Jared, well, let's just say he is up there on my list of characters I hate but not because they were written well. He's just a plain old crappily written, shallow, no solid backstory character who just makes you think that Sam has some really low standards for men. Also, the level of slut shaming the consorts and also body shaming other women while also touting how badass/anti-sexist Sam is as the female protagonist is more than a bit hypocritical. This ends up knocking Sam's "I'm a badass woman against sexism" down to a level of about '0'.
The book falls short of being overall 'good' because of this. At just 60%, I found myself skipping forward because the love-interest between Jared and Sam was nauseating in it's double-standards. I ended up DNFing the entire book. Maybe I missed out, I know I at least missed the sex scene, but after looking at other reviews, I don't think I missed much...

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Mary Sue = Bad Writing from a Lazy Author

The term Mary Sue came from a late sixties, early seventies short story, I believed titled "Star Trek: The Legend of Mary Sue". It is about a young woman with little to no training who takes over command of the Enterprise after the crew is struck down with food poisoning. She not only defeats the aggressive alien race who could not be defeated, saving the crew and the starship, but is beloved, wanted and desired by almost all of the male characters. She is the perfect being and the newest form of bad writing.

The main female character, Sam, is a Mary Sue. She not only gets into the Legion, she is made co-commander without any prior training or experience, skipping the whole recruit stage. She has a psychic ability that is near impossible to defeat and she is the master of it, even though others have gone insane and died from it. She just knows how to get all of the members of her squad to improve their own psychic abilities and in a matter of a few weeks (I think it was two), they are able to defeat another squad who have been training together for years. She kills another vampire for revenge and doesn't even get a slap on the wrist. She was able to stop and destroy her sire when he was about to attack the grand master vampire, and knew the perfect way to counteract the natural reactions to severing that tie with little to no adverse consequences. And several male characters seem to want her for one reason or another, even the ones classified as homosexual said they would go "straight" for her. There is no problem she can not conquer and overcome. Yes, she is a Mary Sue.

A good character, over the course of the story, must overcome an event, whether it is internal or external, and by the end of the story, becomes better or worse because of it. They basically become a different character than what they were in the beginning of the story. In over-simplified terms, that is character development. The problem with a Mary Sue character (Gary Sue is the male version) is they have no character development, no real story arc. They never change, They never lose, struggle, or break. They are flat, unrealistic, and un-relatable.

Now, some might say "She was tricked into becoming a vampire. She had to watch as humans were killed until she could master her ability. She witnessed the death of her vampire boyfriend when he tried to save her. She was forced to become her sire's consort and was raped repeatedly." The problem there is the author was lazy and used the convenience of "the past" to try and flesh out the character without fleshing out the character. When other authors used "the past" device, they usually tell it as a flashback or re-living the memory. This author did not. We, the readers/ listeners, never experienced this so-called trauma with the character. It was told to us in a few simple sentences, such as "this is what happened and that was it". Good character development doesn't work that way.

Unfortunately, this is becoming a trend in several genres and medias.

I barely made it 3/4 the way through the book before calling it quits. And yes, I will be returning this.

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Why....!

So I really like this writer and I have most of her books on my kindle . But I don’t have any of her audiobooks. So I decided to try out Here Be Sexist Vampires. The woman’s voice that narrated Sam story was OK it took some time to get used to it but I soon got into the story. The problem started then they switched over to a man’s Voice to narrate Jared story and it’s completely awful he’s monotone and obnoxious I really can’t stand listening to him. I think he ruined this book for me. Especially when he try to do a British accent... Just NO

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