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Publisher's Summary

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....
Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.
Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.
Have sex.
When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.
Have sex again.
When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.
At least cuddle.
Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.
Find a closet, and go to town.
©2015 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Cheri on 03-18-16

Holly Hotness This Story was Awesome!

Fashionably Dead in Diapers is another great additional to the Hot Damned series. It's insanely funny, sexy as sin, and never a dull moment.

Robyn Peterman has made it an art in creating funny, sassy, colorful phrases that will have you laughing out loud and with Jessica Almasy's flawless performance, she animates them superbly.

Astrid and Ethan are one of the funnies couples. They have their hands full with their new baby, Samuel, who is growing at an alarming rate, and has lots of powers and can animate inanimate objects like couches and chairs.... that's recipe for disaster. When they finally get some "alone time," their role playing fantasies will have you laughing out loud; however, when Samuel is kidnaped and Astrid losses her memory, things get really bad.

I have really enjoyed listening to this series, but be warned, if you do not like bad language, this story is full of justified bad language. Definitely worth the credit and time invested in listening to the story.

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7 of 7 people found this review helpful

5 out of 5 stars
By SCambra on 02-20-16


Any additional comments?

Oh.My.Hell, Robyn Peterman has done it again! She's succeeded in making me laugh my ass off (I wish)! Only warning, do not read this after having a 2 day stomach bug. She can dream up some truly craptastic visuals that will leave you in tears!

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3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful
5 out of 5 stars
By Read4Fun on 05-24-16

I just kept coming back for more!

Any additional comments?

I found this audio just as captivating as the rest of the series. I love the world Ms Peterman creates and the fun stuff her characters get up to. The narration was perfect and really brought the story to life. I was disappointed when it finished, I have to say.

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