Fashionably Dead in Diapers : Hot Damned

  • by Robyn Peterman
  • Narrated by Jessica Almasy
  • Series: Hot Damned
  • 6 hrs and 49 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....
Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.
Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.
Have sex.
When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.
Have sex again.
When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.
At least cuddle.
Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.
Find a closet, and go to town.


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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Holly Hotness This Story was Awesome!

Fashionably Dead in Diapers is another great additional to the Hot Damned series. It's insanely funny, sexy as sin, and never a dull moment.

Robyn Peterman has made it an art in creating funny, sassy, colorful phrases that will have you laughing out loud and with Jessica Almasy's flawless performance, she animates them superbly.

Astrid and Ethan are one of the funnies couples. They have their hands full with their new baby, Samuel, who is growing at an alarming rate, and has lots of powers and can animate inanimate objects like couches and chairs.... that's recipe for disaster. When they finally get some "alone time," their role playing fantasies will have you laughing out loud; however, when Samuel is kidnaped and Astrid losses her memory, things get really bad.

I have really enjoyed listening to this series, but be warned, if you do not like bad language, this story is full of justified bad language. Definitely worth the credit and time invested in listening to the story.

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- Cheri

Best one yet!

Seriously, if the title of this review isn't enough, just go read the synopsis! "Sweet Baby Moses in a boob tube," says it all! You're welcome.
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- erobbins33

Book Details

  • Release Date: 02-09-2016
  • Publisher: Audible Studios