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Declaring Spinsterhood  By  cover art

Declaring Spinsterhood

By: Jamie Lynn Braziel
Narrated by: Johanna Parker
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Publisher's summary

Emma Bailey is fed up with the dating scene, and if she hears her mother nag one more time about getting married…well, she’s had it, and she wants everyone to know it. In a moment of clarity (or insanity?), she announces to the world that she will never marry. No husband and no kids; no worries about diapers, driving lessons, or divorce. Her friends are there for her, but they’re also involved in their own lives and loves, so off she goes into a world of casual dating. But what happens when the avowed spinster, the woman who has supposedly tucked her heart into a safe little space, suddenly realizes that her best friend Brian means more to her?

Jamie Lynn Braziel’s Declaring Spinsterhood delivers with this enjoyable romp through dating, friendship, and passion.

©2011 Jamie Lynn Braziel (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc.

What listeners say about Declaring Spinsterhood

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

What is it the 1950's??

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

The book was average. Not bad - not fantastic. I won't be re-listening to it like I do with other books.

What could Jamie Lynn Braziel have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

Seriously? Live in the 2014 instead of 1950s.

Have you listened to any of Johanna Parker’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Not yet but she was excellent.

Could you see Declaring Spinsterhood being made into a movie or a TV series? Who should the stars be?

God no.

Any additional comments?

This book had a fine story line. This was ridiculously dated. Women now days don't have to wait for marriage to have sex, or get permission to have men sleep over. Every time something remotely "riske" happened (and Shakespeare was more bawdy than this book) the women all shrieked and went church. It was irritating. Guess what. Women now days don't need permission to have sex, it is completely okay to actually have sex for fun, AND shockingly - it is perfectly normal not not have to get married if they actually do have sex. UGH. Made me grind my teeth.
Instead of showing how women rebel against being pushed into marriage and motherhood (like many women feel now days) she emphasized the fact. Woman cannot be whole without a man.

Seriously? Like joke says "If my vibrator could mow the lawn I wouldn't get married"

Emma had a bookstore, was taking charge of her life - only to be miserable without a man. (insert cringe - teeth grind here)
Chicka, grow some balls, tell your family to f-off, and buy some toys.

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5 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Terribly Unlikeable Characters

Johanna Parker is a fantastic narrator and has narrated several exceptional books. She must not have read this book before narrating it. No one could read this twice.

The plot hinges on a declaration of spinsterhood by the main character. Thus the title. And she does "declare" it at lunch one Sunday. Then the book continues on exactly as before. Besides providing a few lines of dialog, the book totally ignores what was supposed to be the primary hook of the plot line.

The mother is emotionally abusive to the daughter. The father is one of those characters we are supposed to see as an upstanding moral Christian. Instead he is a mysogonist who thinks if his daughter would only carry a gun and find a man to guide her, no matter how big a tool the guy is, she would be worthy of his love. No one could be raised by these parents and emerge undamaged. And while the daughter gets angry at them, we are still suppose to believe they are good people worthy of the daughter's love. After all they are Christian, go to church every Sunday and the dad is a preacher. That must mean they are "good." Two words. Jim Jones.

On a blind date her loving mother made for her, her drunk date makes a sloppy attempt to grope and kiss her in a public place. Even though her dad was also a cop, she is totally helpless against the drunk groper. Her family response? Not -- take a self defense class. No. It is get a conceal and carry license so the next time your mother sets you up on a date with a drunk lech, you can blow his head off. This alone makes this book a great argument for gun control.

I could not finish the book. There could be no acceptable happy ending. And I was pretty sure the only satisfying ending, her parents getting killed in a violent shoot out, wasn't in the cards.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Juvenile and poorly written

What disappointed you about Declaring Spinsterhood?

The main character (Emma) acted like an overly dramatic, eye rolling, ice cream eating pre-teen.

Would you ever listen to anything by Jamie Lynn Braziel again?

Not likely

Would you listen to another book narrated by Johanna Parker?

yes

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Declaring Spinsterhood?

All of the scenes in which the main character interacted with her mother. They made her (Emma) seem petty and juvenile.
Oh, and all of Emma's scene's with her best friend and love interest (forgot his name). They were superficial and cringe worthy.

Any additional comments?

I know it seems harsh, but I would really advice others against spending their credit on this book. It's really not worth it.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

BAD BAD BAD

I see no reason why this book needs to be read by anyone. Spare yourself the agony now. Frankly I feel a bit duped by Audible for even offering such malarkey and/or forcing a one star review!!

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3 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

What century is this?

I didn't read other reviews before buying this book, I judged it by its cute cover. I did finish the book, but just barely. The reader is fine, it's the story that bothered me. The main character is unrealistically chaste under the guise of being a Christian preacher's daughter while at the same time being an incredibly manipulative sexual tease. Her family is unforgivingly rude and unaccepting. Some of the dialogue is, I think, meant to be funny, but I just found myself feeling offended and disbelieving that this story is supposed to take place in modern-day Texas.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Predictable

The story is very formulaic and has little depth. It reminded me of a 1980’s teen angst movie. While I realized at first look that this book was going to be a light easy read I did want a little invention within the storyline. Most of these books all end the same way – girl get guy, I only wished the journey had not felt so forced and convenient. The writing is passable but had no real flare or distinctive style. I was bored most of the time and only continued to read in hopes that it would get better. I can't recommend this book if you have another choice.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Classic and cute

Would you consider the audio edition of Declaring Spinsterhood to be better than the print version?

I like the audio version, because then i can clean and do other things. But if i want to relax whit a cup of tea, it will be the printet version.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Emma. The way she handle her mother and her ex Steve. The way she takes control on her one life. And her confusing feelings about Brian.

What about Johanna Parker’s performance did you like?

I just love her. She make all the characters difference and unique.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Declaring Spinsterhood is a good tag line.

Any additional comments?

it's a cute story. I love it and i will absolutely tell others about this book.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars

Rated PG

Cute story.I listened to this particular narrator from another story and I have to say she has really improved.She’s great.I just don’t understand with all the “spending” the night together,how can Brian not be obvious in his feelings about Emma.Any red blooded man,if he’s in bed with a beautiful woman,would show”signs”of interest I think.So not sure how Emma was ever unsure.Emma has to have the patience of a saint with her family constantly reminding her of her unmarried state.I would’ve said(well since y’all are so unhappy with my”single status “then I guess I can skip all the family gatherings while I’m single and so offensive).They were horrible,especially uncle Richard.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

love this book

this book has the romance without the s_x. wonderful story. I have listened to it several times

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Wow. Just...No

What would have made Declaring Spinsterhood better?

Having her family be remotely likable would have been nice. Even her minister father, who while not as consistently obnoxious and petty as his wife, is just as insensitive and callous as the rest. Emma constantly describes her family as a good and upstanding, church-going family, but their treatment and behavior of Emma does not exemplify unconditional or Christian love. For example, her mother BANS her from the house for not wanting to date anymore; SERIOUSLY, that's being a good person/mother? There is no time in this seemingly endless book that her mother takes care of her. She seems to pull out the "I love you" card simply to justify her bullying. Another example is when after she is badly hurt, her uncle can't keep from putting her down about her manlessness, commenting that she'll have an even harder time catching a man looking like she does. I mean, WTF? I don't know if the author made the family so horrible to try to make Emma's struggle to be a stronger person look better, but it just made every scene her family was in SO trying. She professes how great her family is, but even her brother, who she says she's close to doesn't stand up for her and whenever Emma tries to stand up for herself she gets's slapped down for "bad manners" or "sassiness", while her family is borderline emotionally abusive. To me, you stop being able to use the excuse that "you just want someone to be happy and not alone" when you are willing to overlook someone trying to overpower/sexually assault her after their date or suggest that criminals in the local jail should get offered a reduction in their sentences if they donate sperm.

Has Declaring Spinsterhood turned you off from other books in this genre?

Not the entire genre, but definitely storylines that center around "well-meaning" family harping on catching a man.

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

Yes. Johanna Parker was good. It was the only thing that kept me going. I hate to not finish a book, but I would have quit this one 20% in without the narration.

Any additional comments?

The book had potential and the main characters were sweet and likable, but the family dynamic was just way too much to get past.

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