Dead If I Do : Garnet Lacey

  • by Tate Hallaway
  • Narrated by Amanda Ronconi
  • Series: Garnet Lacey
  • 7 hrs and 52 mins
  • Unabridged Audiobook

Publisher's Summary

The spunky heroine of Romancing the Dead returns in this utterly bewitching series. Witch Garnet Lacey is ready to walk down the aisle with the super sexy vampire Sebastian. Besides the fact that he has no pulse, things couldn't be more perfect. Until plans for the wedding start falling apart, and Sebastian's zombie-slash-vampire-slash witch ex-lover decides that both of them should be six feet under. It's just a matter of time before Garnet-who's already sharing her body with a short-tempered goddess-morphs into Bridezilla.

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful

Big Disappointment!

I liked the series before this (liked, not loved mind you), but this book has inconsistencies that were (to me) just plain stupid & obvious. First Garnet's convinced Parrish (her ex) has turned Sebastion's ex Tereza, but when the 2 meet she burns his hand, so Garnets conviction doesn't make sense. She doesn't believe it wasn't him until she confronts him about it. Later on she talks about how it couldn't be Parrish because Tereza burned his hand. DUH! Then she asks Parrish to take care of Tereza to keep her away from Sebastion as she's interfering with the wedding plans/relationship. Parrish says yes then says no way in hell is he helping her be w/Sebastion & that he'll help Tereza instead. Then a little later on she calls him & asks him again to take care of Tereza & he immediately says OK. HUH? Then he shows up w/her at their wedding & tells Garnet he's in love w/Tereza. This is after only a few days & supposed years of professing to be madly & always in love w/Garnet (even though he was always sleeping around). HUH?
The inconsistencies with Garnet & the cold were confusing as well. Sometimes she's human & the cold is killing her & in others she's going out in a blizzard & taking off her coat & getting back to the house w/a semi conscious guy because Lilith can heat her up. Which is it? Make up your mind for jeepr's sake! I agree 100% w/A. Willamson 'cat lady's review. The book was all about the wedding & left much out & much to be desired.
Garnet did dumber than dumb things - like sending out an astral wedding invite to the entire world - which includes the Vatican's witch hating hit squad, who show up at the wedding rehearsal & have a fight then take off when she turns on her Lilith (which, BTW, didn't stop them from fighting her in other books, so why did they run scared & not come back this time?). That seemed like a gratuitous fight thrown in for the hell of it w/an unsatisfactory ending.
The relationship aspect was weird too. Garnets all jealous of him kissing his ex (understandably) but then later on after she gets over it, she easily forgives him w/o being angry when he explains that he kissed her because he was wondering if maybe he should get back together with her & wanted to see what he'd feel. Mind you, this was a kiss that was more of a make-out session & was only stopped by the coven's interruption. AND this is after telling her he did it because it was the only way to stop her from killing him & she doesn't call him on his outrageous lie, despite the fact it left the entire coven in jeopardy & almost got them killed! This is the same woman he says he never cared for in the first place & was only going to marry because he knocked her up. Then at their wedding after dancing w/Tereza when he gets back with Garnet he says saying goodbye to Teresa (who hooking up w/Parrish) would have broken his heart if he hadn't been marrying Garnet. WTH? (what the heck)? There is so much contradiction in the relationships it's confusing & lacks continuity.
The ending was pretty abrupt with many issues unresolved or not explained satisfactorily. The wedding takes place despite the curse never being retracted. So, what was the point of the curse? So many things in the book didn't seem to have a purpose or weren't backed up properly or lacked consistency & did next to nothing to contribute to the story line. The entire book was poorly thought out, lacked substance & was really just an indulgent lame waste of time about wedding problems. It seemed pretty pointless.
The only good thing about the book was the narrator, she at least, was consistent. I've never thought the Garnet voice fit the character (& that could just be my personal preference), but all the other ones are pretty good & at least it's the same from book to book, that's important.
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- Origart "Love Sci-Fi, Paranormal, Fantasy & Alternate History genres. Prefer action over romance."

This story was hilarious and also had drama.

I loved this, the Midwestern parents meet vampires, witches, vampie, and goddesses. The cursed wedding plans is hilarious!

The performance by Amanda Ronconi is superb!
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- Maureen O'Hara

Book Details

  • Release Date: 06-11-2013
  • Publisher: Audible Studios