Loving Our Kids on Purpose

I really liked how the first chapter compared the author's interpretation of old testament and new testament parenting. It was not complete in debate and discussion, but it effectively got the point across. This gives me some good things to ponder.

Now the book still fell short because it failed to back up much of the great premise in the first chapter. Also, it did not have much tools that correlated well to the premise, or at least it was not made clear on a high enough level. It also had a lot of personal stories that were used to back up the points, but the result was not as clear cut as the author's bias might presume it to be. There are other factors going in to the story that may be beyond just the application inputs.

Much of the book seems like another means of control. Do this, say this, and give theses choices, and get these results from your kids behavior. I do like the part at the end about sharing your heart, "this made me sad" to share a connection. But why was this only barely handled toward the end of the book?!?! This would have been valuable to tie things back to the premise.

I strongly disagree with the author calling much of the goal of his method, "self control". It seems to me that his method is only teaching more responsible decision-making. That is a good thing too, so the information is still valuable. Self-control seems to me to be beyond the scope of this book.

I strongly disagree with the use of his flippant phrase warfare: probably so, I don't know, etc.
Taking this approach would actually make me feel powerless, instead of powerful. I am not a cloud, as the author is trying to imitate with these phrases. I have a stong sense of sonship and I won't be using robotic methods in talking about things that require a human connection.

I strongly disagree with the lack of respect that the author encourages in his methods and examples. He does mention respect in some discussion, but it seems to be equal to "fun" on the importance scale. Respect needs to be foremost taught. If my daughter said to me upon trying to get into the front seat, "are you going to move your stuff or should I sit on it". I would say, assertive is fine, but with that level of respect, you better get in the back seat. I would teach her to first respectfully ask if the items may be moved. She still has the power to ask me or to sit in the back seat, but power must follow respect. Without respect then power becomes self-serving.

Loved it! this is so different from what I have done in the past. I can't wait to have a heart to heart connection with my daughter.