The most important issue in a gay man’s life is not “coming out”, but coming to terms with the invalidating past. Despite the progress made in recent years, many gay men still wonder, “Are we better off?” The byproduct of growing up gay in a straight world continues to be the internalization of shame, rejection, and anger - a toxic cocktail that can lead to drug abuse, promiscuity, alcoholism, depression, and suicide.
Drawing on contemporary psychological research, the author’s own journey, and the stories of many of his friends and clients, Velvet Rage addresses the myth of gay pride and outlines three stages to emotional well-being for gay men. The revised and expanded edition covers issues related to gay marriage, a broader range of examples that extend beyond middle-class gay men in America, and expansion of the original discussion on living authentically as a gay man.
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Must read for any gay man
There was quite a bit of information presented, and I think listening to it again might help me access more of it.
The inclusion of anecdotes really helped me relate my own life to the issues described in the book.
Chapter 14, where he talked about life skills.
An owner's manual for the gay life.
- Matthew Phelps
Very Profound for Me
Yes - I enjoyed Alan Downs reading his own words. There are subtleties in his voice that add significance.
How much I can relate to the struggle and the potential for growth he offers.
I haven't. This is the first.
Probably the first chapters where he discusses shame, its origins and manifestations etc. I'd never though about my own shame in those terms before. Very helpful!
Really worth the read, guys.