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By Zaubermond on 09-02-14
Feeling "special?" Snap out of it!
Twenge and Campbell provide a wide-ranging study of social psychology with many useful insights. Unfortunately the tone in which the book is written and narrated is off-putting, arrogant, and grating on the nerves. The "look at me" author intrusion was over the top. They would have written a much stronger, more cohesive book if that fault hadn't been so distracting. The narrator sounds snarky and disdainful, which doesn't help.
This book goes a long way to explaining how we find ourselves in this situation. Even if you take out the statistics and somewhat outdated cultural references, there's a lot in here that is important to consider. I wish every parent and grandparent would read it and at least think through some of the issues raised.
If you need strategies to deal with a narcissist, you won't find them in this book. For that, I'd recommend looking at Rokelle Lerner's THE OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION IS IN MY REFLECTION and Eleanor Payson's THE WIZARD OF OZ AND OTHER NARCISSISTS.
This next bit is just my own experience, so feel free to skip if you wish.
I read this book to understand "small-n narcissism" because there is more and more of what this book talks about in the arts.
Three examples from the last week. (1) An inexperienced twentysomething painter threw a screaming tantrum when her inadequate work was not accepted for inclusion in a national, highly competitive exhibition. (2) A teenage boy asked me how long it would take "to get good" on classical guitar. When I told him many years of dedicated study and practice, he said he was "gonna get one of those 'learn guitar in seven days' things online" and wandered off. (3) A twelve year-old bragged to her adoring parents that she had "mastered" the flute and called herself "really gifted." She was not a prodigy, just an ordinary kid who'd finished her fourth lesson.
Those who have something to teach are getting tired of dealing with superannuated two year-olds who have a tantrum every time they find work is required of them, or discover there are others more talented, experienced, or willing to learn from their mistakes than they are. Entitled narcissists want instant fame, accolades, and praise for nothing more than showing up. Like Icarus, they fly on their frail little wings of self-adoration and fall when they come into contact with reality. Then we are expected to clean up the mess.
We need better parenting that includes the establishment of realistic boundaries and a return to a sense of community. None of us exists without the other. Not one of us is better than another. Narcissism destroys all that is good about a civilized society, and only we can stop it from taking over.
9 of 10 people found this review helpful
By RWalker on 08-12-14
An Outstanding Piece of Work, Highly Reccomended
If you could sum up The Narcissism Epidemic in three words, what would they be?
High praise, low standards and low expectations do not create a person who can compete and thrive in the real world.This book really connects the dots and explains why so many of our kids feel entitled, are rude and cannot function in a competitive society i.e. in the real world. Their self esteem is off the charts and their ability to function and compete just does not support their high self esteem.
In life there are winners and losers, the winners generally work really hard and demand more of themselves and understand commitment, discipline and hard work and the only things that ensure success in the long run.
Life is not like a kid's sports game; Not everyone get's a trophy just for showing up. As Thomas Edison said, genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent perspiration. Unfortunately many of us have forgotten this truth.
The books also gives some very good pointers for dealing with narcissism and if we do not deal with it there will be significant consequences for us as a country.Cannot recommend highly enough
4 of 5 people found this review helpful