• That's Not What I Meant

  • The Sociolinguistics of Everyday Conversation - The Modern Scholar
  • By: Professor Deborah Tannen
  • Narrated by: Deborah Tannen
  • Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
  • 4.3 out of 5 stars (166 ratings)

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That's Not What I Meant  By  cover art

That's Not What I Meant

By: Professor Deborah Tannen
Narrated by: Deborah Tannen
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Publisher's summary

This series of lectures draws on linguistics, or the scientific study of language, to show the many ways in which language has a profound effect upon human relationships. These lectures address the various aspects and implications of what Professor Tannen calls "conversational style". It also looks at the dynamics of specific situations, such as the workplace and classroom, where the role of conversational style is of particular importance.

A person's conversational style includes far more than the words that he or she speaks. Each conversation is composed of contextual cues, unspoken messages, body language, and the rhythms of speech. For the most part, people communicate without a conscious focus on the subtleties of language. Through this course, the complexities of language, and all that language entails, will become more apparent.

©2004 Deborah Tannen (P)2004 Recorded Books

What listeners say about That's Not What I Meant

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

Awful

This is pseudo-scholarship at its worst. I was very disappointed to learn the lectures were by the woman who wrote the awful book, "you just don't understand" but thought I would give give it a short since I'd paid for it. It was just as bad as her book. This woman shamelessly perverts science. She creates untestable hypotheses which would make Freud blush. She even begins with an idle boast that she "saved a marriage" of a student through her course. She then proceeds to insult our intelligence with conversation analysis that a ten year-old could constuct if they were forced to waste their time that way. I am shocked this woman is alongside excellent scholars on the other lectures in this series.

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28 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Helpful Perceptions, not Scienctic Study

This is not a book about science, rather it's a book about perceptions. Where this book is presented as Scholarly lecture series it implies that it should be treated as having a basis in factual reality, but this is not what you are receiving. While the work begins with descriptive terms and possible scientific approaches to Sociolinguistics, the lectures work much better as self-help.

The author goes through a variety of elements of conversation which may allow the listener to improve their personal relationships with those around them through adjustments in the speech or by recognizing those issues of others.Those seeking scientific scholarship will be disappointed, those seeking an introduction to Social Linguistics in a non-scientific vocabulary will really enjoy.


The Modern Scholar: He Said/She Said: Women, Men and Language, also by Deborah Tannen, is VERY similar to this series. I would not recommend purchasing both.

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8 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Interesting

If you have read any of Deborah Tannen's popular titles, you will probably enjoy this. It is billed as a series of lectures (boring!) but you could just as easily reframe it as different chapters in an audio book.

Concepts are explained simply and clearly. It is quite accessable to the lay person, because there isn't an assumed level of knowledge.

Having read some previous titles by the same author, several vignettes were familiar, but it was quite amusing/entertaining to hear them read aloud. (eg the story about the pediatrician talking to the little girl.)

There is also an accompanying booklet to download. If you are considering downloading this title, the accompanying booklet gives a rough idea of what you can expect. It is very helpful if you want to follow up any of the authors cited.

Would highly recommend for people with a general interest in communication, or linguistics.

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8 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Warning: This is NOT the audiobook.

I very much enjoy Deborah Tanne's work, and found this item interesting.

**HOWEVER** it is important to note that this is *NOT* an audio-book of Tannen's book "That's Not What I Meant"

Rather, it is series of lectures, presumably meant to accompany the book. (For example, if you download accompanying PDF "study guide" it recommends reading the corresponding chapters in the book.)

If you're looking for, or would prefer, something like a lecture, that's fine. But if you're expecting an audio-book of the Tannen's book, just be aware that this isn't it.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

A Big Let Down

What disappointed you about The Modern Scholar?

The selection was not informative. It amounted mostly to discussing the scholarly names for mannerisms and tendencies that everyone already recognizes in their day to day communications.

Has The Modern Scholar turned you off from other books in this genre?

No.

Did the narration match the pace of the story?

Yes.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Disappointment.

Any additional comments?

I've read several Modern Scholar selections and enjoyed most of them, but not this one. The professor had very little practical information to offer. Most of it was examples of miscommunication to which the narrator supplied the linguistic terms. This selection might be of use if you are Sheldon Cooper or Mr. Data from Star Trek. Anyone who has good communication skills will find almost nothing valuable here. Worst of all, the professor tries to tell us that those who simply wait for their turn to talk instead of trying to listen actively, ask questions and be engaged in what we are saying are not really rude, they just have a different conversational style. Ya, I'll say. Don't waste a credit on this one.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Tannen is terrific

I really appreciate her insights though the format of a lecture is a little odd for me.

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  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Boring

Wow, what a boring book! I mean, this could break the world record for dull.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Excellent material, but is in lecture format

Excellent material, but is in lecture format. The entire work teaches about differences in conversational style issues. Mine tends toward a more anecdotal story telling style, so I found "You Just Don't Understand" (by Tannen as well) more enjoyable, but as that focused specific on male/female disconnect, it did not cover such a wide range of styles and customs in conversation as this work. This is much better for a serious student of the topic as it also teaches specific terms for each type of communication difference making other works on the topic easier to understand. Probably should be 5 stars, but I just didn't enjoy it quite as much as the other by by the same author.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Review

This is a relatively short book about people's differences in conversational styles and the importance in understanding those. What I think is the most important realization from this book is that "people don’t wait until they have something important to say in order to talk," and "how we say what we say communicates social meanings." In particular, an important mindset I learned is to recognize the "framing" of a conversation and to reframe the conversation when necessary, either directly or indirectly. Other than this, I think Professor Tannen's other lecture series is richer and more systematic in covering all of the topics here.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Should be required reading in schools worldwide

Loved it, author's voice is a great plus as well. Wish I had known at least some of this at an earlier age. Oh well, live and learn. Will be spreading the word. Do yourself and those around you a favor and listen, please pretty please?

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