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Would you try another book from Craig Malkin and/or Kiff VandenHeuvel?
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This was an interesting book; the first I've read that really gives a framework for understanding the degrees of narcissism and its impacts. Also, one of the first I've read that believes change is possible for higher degree narcissists. I enjoyed the book's story examples of people on the narcissism spectrum, how it affected their lives and the lives of those around them, and practical tips for dealing with either one's own or other's behavior. The parenting advice was sound and although not why I got this book, the thing I personally got the most from. I disagree with some of the other reviewers that this books implies that nearly everyone is pathological to some degree. Through the included inventory, I learned that I may need to work on upping my level of healthy narcissism so that I don’t slip into “Echoism” (kind of the mirror image of narcissism), which I found really interesting. I do agree with another reviewer who felt that the book is somewhat dismissive of the destruction and chaos narcissists can bring to those within their orbit. His lower level experiences with his mother (a semi-high spectrum narcissist) may have colored his view a little rosier than those who've had a high level narcissist rip their lives to shreds would have. He does address it, but strangely, merely gives a passing reference to the emotional devastation that loving a narc can leave you with. His suggestion to try marriage counselling with someone who you suspect is a high level narcissist seems especially dangerous. I've never heard of it coming out any other way than a catastrophe, up to and including the narcissist convincing the therapist their partner needs to be committed or is abusive. Most experts agree that going to counselling with a narcissist is dangerous and advise against it. The author just doesn't seem to know how maliciously manipulative and vindictive people like this can be and just barely touches on emotional abuse, which is nearly a given from a person with unhealthy levels of narcissism. His main information for what to expect after leaving a narcissist, is that you may be bored with normal people. There is no mention of either devalue or discard, let alone the PTSD, smear campaigns, and constant legal battles one could be left dealing with for years. There are other books that deal with the fallout and how to heal afterwards, so perhaps Dr. Malkin is making his own place in the field by avoiding the topic. The book overall is easily understandable, accessible, and concise. More depth is one of the main things I would have liked to see, but I enjoyed the book as a whole. If he published an expanded version, especially one that touched on healing from the kind of abuse only someone high on the Narc Spectrum can dish out, I would definitely buy the second edition. I learned a lot about myself and the world around me, so if you’re looking for a typical, but well written and interesting self-help book, this is a good pick.
7 of 8 people found this review helpful
Would have given it three and a half stars if I could. It's a pretty good intro to a healthy view of narcissism. Slow start and the ending was a little shallow.
1 of 1 people found this review helpful
Excellent take on what is a growing problem, thanks in part to social media and the Internet.
Unbiased and insightful it helped me to understand the people around me much more. I would recommend everyone to read this book. Many will not know they are living with an echo it's or Narcissist. With excellent advice on hope to deal with them. There is hope!
2 of 2 people found this review helpful
I got this book as I wanted to understand more about a guy I had started dating that I could see Narcasstic traits in him. What unfolded as I listened to each chapter, was an insight into much of my own behaviour patterns, my parents and how I too slide up and down the scale. This has pointed out valuable revelations about friends, and colleagues behaviour. I enjoyed how there is constructive guidance on language to use and how to manage yourself and others, also the positive spin that we are told narcasstic values are negative but in fact can be the opposite. I'm starting listening to the whole book again tomorrow, and recommended this to several friends. Invaluable advice for life!
2 of 2 people found this review helpful
I've read a lot of articles from well meaning authors who have clearly suffered from narcissistic abuse, but their experiences seem to have coloured their points of view. This author by contrast patents an empathetic, yet responsible alternative perspective, and it was deeply moving, prescient and valuable. I'd go so far as saying it, and my recent experiences have passively changed my life. The reader of this audio book is also excellent.
3 of 3 people found this review helpful
A must read for understanding the narcissist in yourself and your life. You won't be disappointed.