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You Have to F--king Eat
- Narrated by: Bryan Cranston
- Length: 3 mins
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Publisher's summary
Emmy Award-winning actor Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad, Malcom in the Middle) follows in the exasperated footsteps of Samuel L. Jackson, giving voice to the long-suffering father whose indifferent child will just not eat in this hilarious follow-up to Adam Mansbach's international best seller, Go the F--k to Sleep.
Mansbach's long-awaited sequel is about that other great parental frustration: getting your little angel to eat something that even vaguely resembles a normal meal. Profane, loving, and deeply cathartic, You Have to F--king Eat breaks the code of child-rearing silence, giving moms and dads (new, old, grand-, and expectant) a much-needed chance to laugh about a universal problem.
Anchored by a hilarious performance from Cranston, You Have to F--king Eat is the perfect blend of talented voice actor and subversive fun that expertly captures Mansbach’s trademark humor. Due to its explicit language, you probably shouldn't play this one for your kids.
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Much has happened to Gabrielle Reece since her 1997 best seller Big Girl in the Middle. She’s still gorgeous, still 6’3”, and a dominant force on and off the beach, but in the last 15 years, she’s settled down with world-class surfer Laird Hamilton and raised three stunning blonde girls. Her life might seem like a fairy tale from afar, but four years after her picture-perfect Hawaiian marriage to Laird, Gabrielle filed for divorce. In the end, the couple worked it out, but My Foot Is Too Big for the Glass Slipper tells the unvarnished and often hilarious tale of the turbulent ups and downs that beset every wife and mother - even the women like Gabrielle who seem to have it all.
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Much more relevant than I imagined
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What She Ate
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- By: Laura Shapiro
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr, Laura Shapiro
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A beloved culinary historian's short takes on six famous women through the lens of food and cooking - what they ate and how their attitudes toward food offer surprising new insights into their lives. It's a lively and unpredictable array of women; what they have in common with one another (and us) is a powerful relationship with food.
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Interesting, but don't think the book's premise...
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By: Laura Shapiro
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Jelly Belly
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- Narrated by: Danny Gerard
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It's tough for 11-year-old Ned to stop eating. At four-feet-eight inches tall he weighs one 109 pounds, and he keeps growing - wider. When his parents send him to a summer diet camp, he and his bunkmates can't quite give up their old habits. The joys of candy and doughnuts are so appealing that "cheating" adventures seems to be the only answer. The problem, of course, is how to lose weight and keep eating sweets.
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Rice, Noodle, Fish
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- Unabridged
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An innovative new take on the travel guide, Rice, Noodle, Fish decodes Japan's extraordinary food culture through a mix of in-depth narrative and insider advice. In this 5,000-mile journey through the noodle shops, tempura temples, and teahouses of Japan, Matt Goulding, cocreator of the enormously popular Eat This, Not That! book series, navigates the intersection between food, history, and culture, creating one of the most ambitious and complete books ever written about Japanese culinary culture from the Western perspective.
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Starts strong tapers off
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By: Matt Goulding
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enLIGHTened
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For years, Jessica struggled with fluctuating weight and bouts of unhappiness. Like many of us, she found comfort in food and craved cigarettes and self-confidence. Then one day Jessica took her first yoga class in Katmandu. She lost 40 pounds and changed her life forever. In enLIGHTened, Jessica shares the core principles of yoga philosophy—not the poses and postures, but the ancient system of ideas that lies behind them, drawn from a 2000-year-old text called the Yoga Sutras.
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Inspirational
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Earthly Delights
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Baking is an alchemical process for Corinna Chapman. At four am she starts work at Earthly Delights, her bakery in Calico Alley. But one morning Corinna receives a threatening note saying "The wages of sin is death" and finds a syringe in her cat's paw. A blue-faced junkie has collapsed in the dark alley and a mysterious man with beautiful eyes appears with a plan for Corinna and her bread. Then it is Goths, dead drug addicts, witchcraft, a homeless boy and a missing girl and it seems she will never get those muffins cooked in time.
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Don't know why I waited so long.
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By: Kerry Greenwood
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Chefs, Drugs and Rock & Roll
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Chefs, Drugs and Rock & Roll transports listeners back in time to witness the remarkable evolution of the American restaurant chef in the 1970s and 1980s. Andrew Friedman goes inside Chez Panisse and other Bay Area restaurants to show how the politically charged backdrop of Berkeley helped spark this new profession; into the historically underrated community of Los Angeles chefs, including a young Wolfgang Puck; and into the clash of cultures between established French chefs in New York City and the American game changers.
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the reader makes the audiobook - unfortunately
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The Tastemakers
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In this eye-opening, witty work of reportage, David Sax uncovers the world of food trends: Where they come from, how they grow, and where they end up. Traveling from the South Carolina rice plot of America’s premier grain guru to Chicago’s gluttonous Baconfest, Sax reveals a world of influence, money, and activism that helps decide what goes on your plate.
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Informative - Engaging - Entertaining!
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Fast Food Maniac
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The charismatic radio personality from The Howard Stern Show celebrates what we love about American fast food, covering chains both national and regional and offering an opinionated view on restaurant history, secret menu items, and even drive-thru strategy.
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How is Jon Hein still alive?
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The Unhealthy Truth
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Robyn O'Brien is not the most likely candidate for an anti-establishment crusade. A Houston native from a conservative family, this MBA and married mother of four was not someone who gave much thought to misguided government agencies and chemicals in our food - until the day her youngest daughter had a violent allergic reaction to eggs, and everything changed.
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Transparency at its best
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Restaurant Man
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How does a nice Italian boy from Queens turn his passion for food and wine into a nationwide empire? In his intrepid, irreverent, and terrifically entertaining memoir, Restaurant Man, Joe Bastianich charts his remarkable culinary journey from his parents’ neighborhood eatery to becoming one of the country’s most successful restaurateurs, along with his superstar chef partners: his mother, Lidia Bastianich, and Mario Batali.
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If you liked Kitchen Confidential you'll...
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What listeners say about You Have to F--king Eat
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Darren
- 11-12-14
Another role that Bryan Cranston plays to a T.
If you could sum up Free: You Have to F--king Eat in three words, what would they be?
Fucking EAT kid
Who was your favorite character and why?
My favorite character was the child, because they caused the main conflict in the book and advanced the plot nicely.
Which scene was your favorite?
The last scene, it threw a real curveball.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
Of course, but I had to clear a few things from my schedule to fit it in.
Any additional comments?
The credits are quite long.
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18 people found this helpful
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- Darwin8u
- 11-26-14
Not with a bang, but a F--king Whimper
Adam Mansbach first book, "Go the F--K To Sleep' was brilliant because it was shocking, funny, original, and the meter worked. This one has Bryan Cranston, but that is just about it. IT wasn't nearly as good and the novelty is gone. It just doesn't work. Unless you are a die-hard eater, or love the F--k out of Adam Mansbach, I wouldn't buy this. But since it is free, sure down load the F--ker.
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17 people found this helpful
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- Cynthia
- 11-22-14
You Have to F*cking Listen!
A year before I became the 'Ardent Audible Listener' from Monrovia, Audible Studios posted a free version of Samuel L. Jackson's narration of Adam Mansbach's "Go the F*ck to Sleep" (2011) on YouTube. I watched and listened over and over, and wished "Go the F*ck" had been published 10 years earlier when my youngest stayed up as long as she could, every night, so she didn't miss anything. It was a 4 minute story I'll never forget, and a Facebook topic among my friends for almost 10 days. And, as we all know, 10 days on FB is like a century in real life.
When I prepared to write this review, I discovered that Thandie Newton narrates a 'veddy, veddy uppercrust British version'; and George Lopez does a hysterical rendition En Español. It's probably even funnier to someone who actually speaks Spanish and exceeds my skill of ordering food at a Mexican restaurant that doesn't serve its food in a paper bag; navigating rural California by talking to people because Waze isn't getting a signal; and cursing at loud neighbors playing Ranchero music at 1 in the morning. Actually, anyone who can do the latter is going to love Lopez' vets.
The print book "Go the F*ck to Sleep" is beautifully illustrated. Its pictures echo the soothing, muted tones of Mira Ginsburg's 1982 "The Sun's Asleep Behind the Hill", illustrated by Paul O. Zelinsky (1953 - present). Ricardo Cortés illustrations in "Go the F*ck" are almost an homage to Zelinsky. Samuel L. Jackson was the perfect, soothing, dryly witty American narrator for that book.
The title, "You've Got to F*cking Eat" (2014) really does speak for itself. Owen Bozeman illustrates "F*cking Eat", with livelier colors and scenes that call to a kid that's up and moving, not one just out of the tubby, wearing Pjs with feet, and laying in bed.
There's a good reason I'm talking about print illustrations in an Audible review: Audible Studios posted several Audio versions on YouTube, complete with illustrations from the print books.
Both of Mansbach's "F*ck" books are equally risable, but the meter in "F*cking Eat" is off. Bryan Cranston really doesn't work well as a narrator for this story. He doesn't have the droll sense of humor Jackson has cultivated, and Jackson's introduction to "Go the F*ck" alone is a finely crafted piece of parent humor. Cranston's narration of "F*cking Eat" comes across as overwrought and his reading of the essential profanity conveys anger. I feel Mansbach was going for overwhelmed and exasperated. British actor Stephen Fry's "F*cking Eat" narration hits the right tone with me, and it's laugh out loud funny. Unfortunately, It's either not on Audible yet, or US users don't see UK versions.
I'm looking forward to more Mansbach "children's books for adults." I'd really like to see a "Get the F*ck Out of Bed" addressing a tween/teen, narrated by Cranston. Or if it's really dark, David Morrissey, who's best known to Americans as 'The Governor' on producer Frank Darrabont's "The Walking Dead". That's the guy to get my eldest the f*ck out of bed and on his way high school.
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15 people found this helpful
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- TheRadRussian
- 11-13-14
More plot than twilight
Would you consider the audio edition of Free: You Have to F--king Eat to be better than the print version?
I love the narration but I'd rather read along with pictures.
What was one of the most memorable moments of Free: You Have to F--king Eat?
Everything from the first swear word to the last.
What about Bryan Cranston’s performance did you like?
Everything. His voice brings me to tears.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
When the child finally ate a pancake.
Any additional comments?
Highly recommend this to anyone with children who won't eat.
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11 people found this helpful
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- Rose R.
- 11-13-14
Hilarious!
If you could sum up Free: You Have to F--king Eat in three words, what would they be?
Seriously f--king hilarious!
What about Bryan Cranston’s performance did you like?
The Breaking Bad references (pancakes & scotch, neat)! I heard the original "Go the F--k to Sleep" about a year ago and loved it, but being a huge fan of Cranston, I like this one even better.
Who was the most memorable character of Free: You Have to F--king Eat and why?
Brian F--king Cranston, of course.
Any additional comments?
This was awesome. Thank you for making my day, audible!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Lisa
- 11-13-14
It's funny cause it's true!
Would you listen to Free: You Have to F--king Eat again? Why?
I'll listen to this several times. It's so frustratingly accurate that you have to laugh.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Bryan Cranston as the aggravated parent is spot on.
Have you listened to any of Bryan Cranston’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I have not listened to any other audio performances by Bryan Cranston, but I absolutely will now.
If you could take any character from Free: You Have to F--king Eat out to dinner, who would it be and why?
Bryan Cranston, of course, to see what he'd say when I don't fucking eat!
Any additional comments?
I enjoyed this so much!
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5 people found this helpful
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- Christopher Denny
- 11-12-14
Amazingly Accurate!
What made the experience of listening to Free: You Have to F--king Eat the most enjoyable?
I think having experienced the same emotions as the father in the story it just made things more hilarious.
Have you listened to any of Bryan Cranston’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
Bryan Cranston is a great talent. Not only can he do comedy well, but drama perfectly also. His range is phenomenal and he was a great choice for this title.
Any additional comments?
I had downloaded Go the F**K to Sleep when it was offered previously and enjoyed it. I think it's a great opportunity for Audible to get new members by offering free access to books.
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- K
- 11-14-14
Another classic!
A classic in the same vein as "Go the F--- to Sleep." Oh, how I love these audiobooks! As I listened to "You have to F---ing Eat," I couldn't help but picture Bryan Cranston as Heidelberg trying to get a small child to eat. That, in itself, made me chuckle... a great listen!
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- Gabriel
- 11-13-14
I"M THE ONE WHO READS!!
Would you consider the audio edition of Free: You Have to F--king Eat to be better than the print version?
Audible stories are the future. Printed version of books are slowly going the way of the dinosaurs in my sad humble opinion.
Who was your favorite character and why?
BRYAN CRANSTON. He's a patron saint!
What about Bryan Cranston’s performance did you like?
Just him in his entirety. HE IS THE ONE WHO SPEAKS TELLING YOU TO GO FRICKIN EAT!!!
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
It made me give me a slight chuckle.
Any additional comments?
Have him narrate the triquel!. (3rd entry in the series)
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- Tim
- 11-13-14
Eat
I just wished that Samuel L. Jackson would had told me to eat. He sure told me to sleep.
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3 people found this helpful