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It's too short to really develop anything. You don't care about the poor schmuck who died. You don't care about the other people in the story. You don't even really care about Sachs or Rhyme; if you didn't already know them, you wouldn't be interested in getting to know them further.
Everything has to be explained in the last paragraph. That doesn't work even in a short story. No idea how they zeroed in on the suspect. The only interesting thing is that this is about witnesses and not evidence, so it could have been a fascinating twist for Rhyme who doesn't trust witnesses and only trusts the evidence!
The narration is mediocre.
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